I've Had Worse

Today was just another day. Not out of the ordinary, not thrilling or even all that fun, just a day like any other. It seems to indicate the way my days will be for a while now.

I applied to almost ten jobs this morning. Application after application, I think my head went numb eventually. There were probably mistakes in them, but now I have that pessimistic attitude of "why bother?" I feel that none of it gets me anywhere, I am qualified, I am a good worker, I will do well - but no one will ever see that at this rate.

It was then a sad lunch at Subway, followed by a bailing of a friend. We had made plans around one person, to accommodate and include her, and at the last minute, she canceled. And for what reason? To go drinking with other friends at the pub. Sure it feels petty to bitch and whinge, but it still hurts. I tend to find myself in friendships where I care more than the other person, which is a stark contrast from how I usually am in relationships. On to the Sex and the City film as a dejected twosome... Luckily, we were cheered by Samantha's clear head and self-centred lifestyle choices and Charlotte's general optimism and loyalty.

Take-away pizza alone in front of "The Jane Austen Book Club" made me miss my beautiful gold leaf edged, hard back collection of the Austen books. A bit of female singer-songwriters, and jazz and blues singers, with tea and chocolate, and I am feeling just the right amount of sorry for myself. Now the decision: read, write, or watch... "Dawson's Creek"?