Progress Report

You'll Have Time

2009-11-30T13:32:00.000-08:00

I keep getting mind numbing headaches. It feels like my brain is trying to escape into the open air and I believe I have a brain tumor. My stomach develops a variety of aches and pains throughout each day. The one in my lower left abdomen is a sign that my internal organs are about to explode; in my lower right, I have appendicitis;

in the middle, ecoli or food poisoning of some kind. I’ll be sitting watching television or drinking a cup of tea, and a sudden sharp pain will shoot up my leg or arm, then find one spot to throb – deep vein thrombosis. There’s no other explanation. And what does all this mean? I am going to die.

William Shatner tried to speak his words of wisdom when he told us to ‘Live your life like you’re gonna die, ‘cause you’re gonna.’ Very wise, Bill, but no amount of straight talking is going to fix this hypochondriac. Do I recognize that it is all simply psychological? Is the mind ever simple? I know that I don’t really have any one of these illnesses, but there is something wrong with me. Whether it is an over active imagination or some kind of deep-seated fear of failure, I don’t know. Death could be a blessing in disguise – I would have died before I had the chance to be great. Otherwise, I would have had the time and the resources to be amazing, but failed miserably.

Tea, Coffee, Cakes, and Muffins

2009-09-13T04:42:00.000-07:00

I have always wondered why more people do not love the café life. The lifestyle may be enjoyed singularly, with one or more friends, or by groups and societies. Everyone enjoys it in their own way. No one is there to judge you for your quirky habits. Someone may read the newspaper always from back to front, another may continue to hover with their coffee until a table next to the wall becomes available. You may read, chat, study, work on your laptop, stare off into space, or simply watch everyone else around you.

Café goers tend to be an eclectic and accepting bunch. There are many different kinds of café’s to choose from, all attracting different crowds. First, there are the chains – accessible, unpretentious, where the coffee is never really hot, the décor standardised, and more often than not owned by some American Fortune 500 Company. These cafes generally have the largest mugs, the more the better. Although watch out for the very large standard size mugs of tea that will have you running to the toilet constantly in the following hours. There are also smaller, independent café’s with their own unique personalities. Some café’s have live music or that all-important “all day breakfast” that lures us out of doors on a Sunday afternoon. There is no hangover that cannot be cured by an enormous fry up and cup of tea.

I have always loved the small café’s, although I have found less of them in Bristol and Oxford. At home, in Perth, I loved the café strip in Mt Lawley. There were a few scattered around the metro area, in the back streets, that only the locals know – they are definitely the best café’s around. My passion for a good café started rather early in life. A group of friends and I would go after school every Friday to a local book café. The owner quickly came to know and expect us, enjoyed our presence, and gave us free coffees, extra cream with our cakes, and free chocolates. Soon he went out of business, the café shut down to become yet another Asian food restaurant in an area already overcrowded by its kind. From there (Northbridge) we migrated to the centre of the Mt Lawley strip: the Globe and Cino’s being regulars until Xomod and others opened up further down Beaufort St.

But café’s do not have to just be about coffee. What about teahouses and other tea-focused atmospheres? This is very important to a tea lover like myself, who despises that horrible coffee after taste and ever-lasting coffee breath. There is something refreshing in an establishment that has all kinds of wonderful teas – black teas, herbal infusions, green teas, fermented teas. Also essential to this feel is the right cups and individual teapots. There are very strict rules regarding such things – Asian style for Asian teas, traditional English style for traditional style teas, and funky styles for infusions and quirky blends. And you cannot forget the Moroccan tea glasses for Moroccan mint tea! China or glass? Rounded, square, handles, no handles, saucers? There simply cannot be a generic style for all teas, there must be categories. Although not everyone loves tea, and sure, we tea lovers might not want to give in to the evil that is coffee, but there is still hot chocolate, traditional, white, and chilli.

The café experience is not solely concerned with the drinks, however. We cannot forget the muffins, cookies, cakes, and light meals. I have noticed that the English café’s are missing truly brilliant cakes and other sweet treats, but what else can you expect of a country that calls all desserts “Pudding”?! I miss going to a café and spending a good long while staring into the glass cabinets; “which dessert shall I have today?” Tarts, flan, cakes of all shapes, sizes, and flavours, many cookies, petit fours, gourmet chocolates, bite size treats, ice creams, fudge, chocolate rum balls, macaroons, fruit salads, tiramisu, cheesecake, and more. Too many glorious choices, if only we could choose not to add to our waistlines but enjoy the sickly sweet goodness of all these treats. If you don’t have a sweet tooth, never fear. Sandwiches, presses, salads, wraps, pies, quiches, and other savoury nibbles are on offer also. I personally love a café breakfast, with all manner of friend goods, or at least a fresh bagel, cream cheese, bacon, mushrooms, and grilled tomatoes.

I have never been into clubbing, or partying hard, but I would love to spend a leisurely afternoon with you in a café, drinking tea, eating cake, and enjoying brilliant conversation.

Writing and dreaming

2009-09-06T07:58:00.000-07:00

More artistic ramblings of a crazed mind...

Running, running, running, running through the field. The angry sky crackled and groaned. She had fallen asleep under the prunus avium. Wild cherry. Dirt clumps flew up behind her as she ran. Dirt clumps, soft, moist, sensual between her toes, as she kneaded the ground in her sleep. Now hard and filthy as she thudded over the great expanse.

Sitting at her desk, she read all morning. Bits of this, bits of that. Poe, then Faulkner, some of Fitzgerald’s Gatsby, followed by pages and pages of Douglas Adams, Kafka, then Heller. Books were scattered over the antique mahogany. This table was proudest of its beautiful single plank desk top, and depressed that there were layers upon layers of books hiding its best feature. It began to sag and lean in protest. She thought it had character.

This reading was the result of a short attention span. Flicking between favourite passages until she grew bored. Her eyes constantly flicked between the page and the window. Out the window, down across the pavement, roaming the grounds, and focusing on the letter box. The mail arrived between 10 and 12 every morning. 10.30am. Nothing. The Tell Tale Heart. 10.50am. False alarm – her brother ran up the drive, and checked for mail, before lying on the front lawn to do stretches. 11.15am. Reading, flicking eyes, tapping of toes, jigging of legs. 11.30am. Desperately trying to think of something else – only when one stops thinking about something they really want, does it happen. Truth. 11.45am. Still unable to focus on anything else, and no mail had come.

12.27am. The mailman came sauntering down the path on his bicycle. Who needs motors anyway? She saw him coming, and ran down to greet him. He looked at her, smiled, noticed her outstretched hand and smiled again, placing the mail in the letter box anyway. He whistled as he left, chuckling to himself. There it was, the letter that led her to that wild cherry. Where she waited, where she wept, where she slept.

He tried to remember how it had begun. A beer, or two, a dimly lit room, and some bad music. Music chosen by people who think they know music, but fail at being pretentious snobs, or even having simple good taste. To his left was a young Asian overachiever, the kind that was caned by his parents if he failed to get an , and forced to do Chinese lessons on both Saturdays and Sundays on top of all his other work. Be a doctor or a dentist, they were his choices. On the right, a pretty girl with dark skin and thick curly hair. She smiled at everyone but never seemed to say anything, despite speaking to fill even the tiniest of pauses.

Across a void he spotted someone he knew – and liked. He raised his eyebrows and head, trying to catch their eye, hoping to make an escape. Instead the group crossed the emptiness and joined in with the attractive vapid girl and the future doctor. Three of them he already knew. Two of them he did not. They were both female, one attractive, the other plain. Friendly, it seemed, and possibly interesting. His friend Tom introduced them. Mikaela and Jen. Jen and Mikaela. He imagined it to be Michala, soft and forgiving, but it was hard and cold with a k.

Tom was showing off. First it was talking about his win at the nationals in backstroke. She wasn’t interested. ‘I’ve never understood this county’s fascination with swimming. Races in general, I find extremely dull. You go from one end to the other, that’s it, you always know how it is going to end.’ Would she like to come help out at the soup kitchen with him, he was a regular. She did not like people who talked about their charitable deeds. ‘Do charity for yourself, if you wish, but not for others. Otherwise it becomes all about the image.’ Only one term in, Tom was smug in his delivery, and he was already at the top of the class he said. Legal Process was a joke, he needed a challenge. She sighed and whispered something to her plain friend.

London Film and Comic Con

2009-08-03T13:19:00.000-07:00

Finally uploaded the pics from my Camera (although still haven't scanned in the pic of me and Jewel Staite, which was a highlight - she is gorgeous!). Unfortunately I look truly terrible in the pic of me and Chloe Annett... although it is difficult to look good next to a woman who has appeared on the FHM's sexiest list.

A huge pull for me was Edward Furlong. Most of the space inside my wardrobe door as a teenage was filled with pictures of him from trashy kids magazines. He was my bad boy. And when I met him, he looked rough (afterwards, I actually bothered to google him, and discovered that he is a recovering drug addict and was served divorce papers 8 days before the Comic Con), and I loved it.

Meanwhile, nearby there was an unknown hottie lurking. He is going to be in New Moon (the next in the oh-so-teen series, Twilight). To make things better, unlike Taylor Lautner, Alex Meraz is of a fanciable age. Definitely worth the £10, I think.

Stray thoughts

2009-08-03T10:16:00.000-07:00

I had that weird feeling. Slightly sexual in nature, but not completely dissimilar to pain. A shivering sensation running down my neck, a gasp that never quite made it. It was an itch yet to be scratched because it was too indeterminate in nature.

A Writer's Ramblings

2009-08-02T11:50:00.000-07:00

In the hope of inspiring myself to write more, and to actually properly commit some time to sitting down, brainstorming, and writing (but not to over think!), I am going to type up and post some fragments that I have collected in multiple notebooks over the years. Most of it is terrible, I recognise that, but I have to start somewhere.

***

At first I didn't really think much of it - the book had been sitting on her lap when I sat down. I sat down at the table next to hers and grabbed my book out of my bag. Annoyed with myself for having bent the cover when I shoved it in my bag that morning, while embarrassed by the book itself (some hyper-consumable crime thriller that failed to appeal to my literary snobbery), I began to read with my usual vigour. Despite my intense concentration, it did not escape my notice that she began reading at the same moment.

I continued to read through the lunch hour. The bookclub meeting was fast approaching, and I did not want to feel the shame of being the only one who hadn't read the month's novel. In my peripheral vision, I saw that she had stopped reading, leaving the book on her lap and had her hands clasped elegantly over its cover. She did not appear to be doing anything other than staring into space, careful never to catch my eye. I glanced at my watch, finished my juice, and (this time) carefully put my book back in my bag. She timed it perfectly - we looked as though we belonged in a synchronized dance team. The unison movements were somehow intuitive, unplanned.

Once she too had packed up, she finally spoke. "Why don't we we walk back to the office together?"

Old Friends, Old Times, Old Men?

2009-07-07T09:50:00.000-07:00

Life isn't always plain sailing. Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes they just get tougher than usual and stress levels sky rocket. When we feel a little snowed under, we can revert to nostalgia. Things were better in the good ol' days. Maybe they were, maybe they weren't. But in our minds, there have always been better times in the past. I suppose it is important for us to feel this way - I can't imagine what it would be like to feel miserable and to know that life has always been this way or worse.

To recover some of the old glory, I've spent the past few days listening to nothing but Prince. It's been a while since I've done this, but oh, how I've missed him.

***

I've lived in various different places - countries, cities, hemispheres - over the years. I have met a lot of people, made a lot of friends, and lost almost as many. But every now and then, you meet up with an old friend or you hear from someone you lost contact with an impossibly long time ago. Not only is it great to make contact again, but it is nice to know that you aren't the only one who remembers. I often think back fondly on many people I never managed to keep in touch with, and wonder how they are; but I also wonder if they ever think of me, or if they even remember me at all. This week I had a long lost friend contact me, and a friend who I rarely keep in contact with drop me a line. So big smiles all round here.

***

Many of you will have seen my pic of myself and Leonard Nimoy. Now, if you did not already know that it was Leonard - who would you think it was? I had a colleague at work ask me whether it was Leonard Nimoy or Anthony Daniels (C-3PO)! Now, both are old, sci fi relics who we all love, but one is pure sex, and the other... Well, I won't say anything bad of Anthony, because I am very fond of him. But, he is no Leonard...

Collectormania: Milton Keynes June '09

2009-06-07T06:57:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's convention time again. I always have so much fun at conventions, I can't really understand some people's negativity towards them. You call us losers, freaks, weirdos? Well, I call us cool, perhaps nerdy/geeky cool, but definitely cool in our own way.

They changed the venue from the last Milton Keynes convention, and it was not a good move. Instead of being cramped up in a shopping centre, we were spread out in a freezing cold football stadium. It was semi-outdoors which meant that my hair started getting fly aways and going all frizzy - these are things women like to avoid when they are going to have their picture taken! As soon as we got to the venue, we lined up for our photo session tickets. And somehow, I'm not quite sure how this happened - but Helen and I managed to get the very last photo session tickets for Leonard Nimoy for Saturday. This over-excitement came to a crashing halt when we found out that they had cancelled the talks because of the weather (Why did they move the venue if there was no contingency plan for rain - this is England for crying out loud!)

On to the booths... What's this? Tom Felton (aka Draco Malfoy)?! He wasn't listed on the website. It was a great surprise, especially after several years of obsessing (when I was younger, I promise), stalking his website, and trying to develop a love in fishing... He was lovely and very friendly. He chatted like any ordinary bloke my age, and it was a refreshing change for these sorts of things to be able to talk so easily with one of the guests. Although it did send a thrill through me when he talked about Oxford - "Yeah, Emma lives there" - you can't just talk about Emma Watson with such a casual throw away attitude... it's EMMA WATSON!

Then it was time for our photos sessions. First was Ben Browder, for Helen. Followed by Leonard, then Nathan Fillion. While waiting in line for Leonard, I felt completely numb - nervous, excited, and most importantly, absolutely terrified. I could see that people didn't even have time to say anything to him, but I was still shit scared. There is no easy way to meet an idol. I am so strangely attached to Mr Spock and Leonard that I did not want to screw it up, I didn't want my image of him ruined, but I needed to meet him, if only for a few seconds. I can't really remember the moment now, I was so stressed. He was perfect though - I remember looking at his lovely face, when he said "Hello" - I thought that this must be heaven. Ok, you may think that reaction strange, but I think he has the sexiest voice in the whole world. It is relaxing and orgasmic at the same time, and as soon as he spoke to me, I lost all sense of reality.

Nathan was perfect. Often stars disappoint when you meet them face to face. Without the make up and the air brushing they look positively normal (terrestrial, one of us, blemished, "in one's league", so to speak). But Nathan was very different. He appeared in person just as he does on screen. He had a cheeky grin, and a strong presence. The leather jacket added to his roguish charm, and every woman there wanted to go home with him. I have nick named him the Han Solo - he is a rogue, a scoundrel, but underneath the rough (and sexy) exterior, lies a very good man.

Among the star-dazzling, headlining acts were also the lesser known, but equally as great. Take John De Lancie, "Q" to those in the know. He looked so much older, but then again, Next Generation started in the 80's - before I was born. He was struggling in the cold and wrapped himself up in blankets. We were lining up to meet Avery Brooks - another Trek veteran of Deep Space Nine Commander Sisko fame (and American History X) - when a familiar back-of-the-head walked into my frame of vision. Who should it be - but Leonard Nimoy, wishing them both well, and asking Avery (also now 60 years of age) to look after the 61 year old John. Strange, coming from a 78 year old - spry as a spring chicken that one. I was very excited by this, and admit to taking a photo of his back - he was only a foot away from me after all (not as bad and stalker like as when I snapped a shot of him leaving the toilet - we were waiting in line, he walked past with his three bodyguards, I knew he would have to come out sooner or later). We also wandered past a few others from the Harry Potter world, including Seamus (who is quite an attractive young man these days - he was chatting up some ladies on the fans' side of his table) and Harry Potter's dad (he wandered around the venue a few times and we had the opportunity to point and yell "It's Harry Potter's Dad!").

How can you diss something that lets you say "Careful, you almost walked into Spider man!" Trust me, you wouldn't want to do that... But it is better than accidentally walking into Darth Vader.

Star Trek: The Follow Up

2009-05-20T11:16:00.000-07:00

To follow up my post about Star Trek (which has left me feeling like either myself or the entire human race has gone insane - it was not a good film!), I thought I would share some amusing links.

Firstly, yes, perhaps it was a truly terrible remake... but not of what you thought it was. Star Trek or Star Wars?

and...

A very serious poll.

Star Trek: The review

2009-05-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

I am a huge Star Trek fan. I grew up watching all incarnations of the show with my parents (all except Enterprise, of course). Among my most treasured 18^th birthday presents was an alluring yellow plastic box set, which came to have pride of place upon my desk next to its blue and red counterparts (seasons 1, 2, and 3 of Star Trek: The Original Series, for those of you too cool to know what I mean). This began my true obsession and appreciation of Mr. Spock.

Mr. Spock is my ideal man. Thoughtful, serious, attractive (yes, attractive!), and the ultimate when it comes to playing hard-to-get. How long was Christine Chapel making goo-goo eyes at him, bringing him Vulcan Soup’s and checking on his well-being? More years than was good for her – and the only time he showed any recognition of her infatuation was under some form of strange emotional turbulence or distress (watch “The Naked Time” and “Amok Time”). This pedestal image of a fictional character, one that I have cherished for many years now, has now been irrevocably shattered.

***

Please do not think it reflects poorly on me to have waited almost two weeks after its release for me to see Star Trek. On the contrary, I did not want it ruined by having too many people in the cinema (I generally avoid cinema’s when something is first released). I was very excited about seeing the new film, despite my early reservations. Everyone I knew, who was a Trek fan, who had seen the film, had given me a positive response (including Wil Wheaton, and what he says is usually gospel). Not to mention a top 250 rating on imdb (the all powerful, all knowing, all brilliant website). I headed into the cinema with an open mind and a big smile.

It opened well, an exciting, action packed beginning for both Kirk and the film. But the theme was all wrong. Young Kirk, wrong. Sarek, wrong. Then on to the film’s present – and it was wrong! Chris pine looked like Bill Shatner in the Original Series film, rather than the suave, sexy young James T. Kirk (and why were there no cheesy shirt rippings in the middle of fights?). Wait, suddenly there was hope – a strong first impression from McCoy. I could feel Deforest in the room with him. I was worried, but maybe everything would work out in the end.

Kirk grew on me. I liked Uhura, she was sexy and sassy, but there was nothing to suggest she was from Africa (I wanted Swahili!). And yes, there was even a green woman shagging Kirk. No Orion slave girl, but still exciting. But the bomb was about to drop, the shit about to hit the fan, the wind was about to be ripped from my lungs.

It was not long before I realised how wrong Spock was. Zachary Quinto is not Spock. I understand that they were trying to portray a Spock who was still conflicted about who he was, human, Vulcan, emotional, logical – but there was far too much emotion. Too much smiling, too many flaws, too angry. There was no Christine Chapel after him, but Uhura – and she got him, too easily. In that relationship, there was far too much passion. Were they trying to get us too relate more to Spock? Why was there any need for that? Spock is one of the most beloved characters of all time, and they killed him. (Please don’t worry, that was no spoiler, just a metaphorical explanation of the heartache and disappointment I felt after seeing the film.)

The film seemed to get worse as it went along. The ship was far too shiny (Joss Whedon was brilliant to point out that space ships are lived in – they are necessarily DIRTY!), and, J.J. Abrams, what was with all the lens flare and glare? The narrative had too many plot holes to count, none of the science was explained (despite it being integral to the plot), and since when has a transporter beam been full of horizontal swirling lines?! Spock was not caught simply kissing – it was making out – hormonal, passionate, intense (well, too much for Spock anyway). I couldn’t take it, I was on the edge, my head was about to explode…

A mysterious figure, we have seen the back of his head only, he has taken a few steps, no voice as yet – but I already knew that it was Leonard Nimoy. I suddenly felt right again, and my emotions got the better of me. In the middle of the cinema, I burst into tears. Spock Prime was perfect, old Spock, the right Spock. He made it that much more obvious that the film was terrible. No one was able to hold their own with him, and I knew I could never look at my Spock the same way. He had been tarnished, as Star Trek has been (although Enterprise did enough of that already).

I just wanted it to all be over, to take back the last few hours and forget that I had ever seen it. But it was too late. Simon Pegg as Scotty provided some relief – he was perfect (at least the casting director was awake for this one), but it was not enough. It had run away with a bad premise, poor character portrayal, and absolutely appalling writing – but hey, its an alternate universe, we can do whatever the f*ck we like, right? Well, I say, if you wanted to change everything about the characters themselves, their history, and their possible futures (therefore invalidating ALL of Original Series), why not create new characters within the Star Trek universe.

If this was not a Star Trek Original Series Film (Supposedly), it could have been a decent film. Action packed, fast paced, and slick. But this was Star Trek Original Series, and they let this fan down. I have never been more disappointed (this is worse than the disappointment that accompanies the Star Wars Prequels). I do not recommend this film to any Original Series fan, especially if you even remotely like Spock.

Page Numbers

2009-05-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

I had a bad day today. Things were going wrong. I had to clean up a lot of mess. I was stressed, I was annoyed, I was tetchy (Yes Kryten, I said "Tetchy!"). I then received a note from an author which possibly sent me over the edge. To understand this, you may need to understand indexes. Sometimes authors make their own indexes, sometimes we have freelancers do them. This particular author was doing his own, but he had already created the list of indexing terms, all he really has to do is search (ctrl f) the pdf document, check the page number (of the manuscript itself not the pdf document), and write it down...

Author: "Can you please send me a new pdf with the prelims removed, so that I don't have to subtract that number every time I find an indexing term?"

What I want to say: "No. Stop looking at the pdf page number and look at the numbers embedded in the actual pages!!!! IDIOT!!!"

What I actually say and do: "Of course. Here is the new document." (After opening the document, going to "document" - "delete pages", deleting the appropriate pages, then "save as". That was hard, wasn't it?!)

Isn't life grand?

Sometimes life gives us lemons... you grow immune to the bitterness.

Leonard Nimoy!

2009-05-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

Leonard Nimoy will be at the Milton Keynes Collectormania in June (and he better not cancel)! This is my favourite man of all time. Yes, beats Craig Charles and James Masters and Hugh Jackman and Michael J Fox and James Spader and and and and and... I could go on but I won't. I think you get the idea. Be there or be square people!

In other news... I moved house, then went on holiday to Australia for a month, before having to wait two weeks for internet to be installed. However, I am now up and running with the internet, television, microwave, and a whole number of things to make this life feel like a real life and a real home. Now I just have to make some local friends, but I'm trying.

Also, if you love books, like to support budding new writers, or maybe just like to express your opinion about what other people do... head over to authonomy. It is a place where new writers post their work for comments, encouragement, and agents scouting for fresh blood. My friend's boyfriend's composition "Hair" is up on there too, so search fo "Ash Walker" and read his book! Support is necessary when doing anything creative, so please check it out!

The Genius, His Purple Majesty, The Kid... Prince

2009-03-03T09:39:00.000-08:00

My hometown, Perth, has thankfully continued to this day, to be free of Starbucks (although we do have Gloria Jeans, which is basically the same thing, just rebranded with more coffee-inspired colours). So when I visited my friends in Texas in 2005, it was a surprise for me to see an exclusive Alanis Morrisette album for sale in the local Starbucks. I admit I bought it without hesitation, an acoustic version of her epic Jagged Little Pill album had to be worth a listen. It isn't by no means brilliant, but when you do feel like a mellow Alanis, and not the quite so crazy Alanis we all loved back in the day, it provides a gentle background ambiance.

After my first exposure to this strange phenomenon of exclusive music releases, I noticed it began to happen more and more. Exclusive iTunes music, exclusive to Windows, exclusive to starbucks, exclusive to Wal-Mart, and the list kept growing. I would buy my chai tea latte at the top of Park St in Bristol, on my way down the epic hill for some afternoon studying, and there was an exclusive Paul McCartney release, then other exclusives. But why? Surely this limits the possible audience - I wouldn't have known about these albums if I had not gone into those stores, or been trawling the internet while bored in my lunch hour. And what if this exclusive release agreement precludes international fans from accessing the release easily, or even legally?

Today's lunch break had me cruising through the BBC News webpage (as usual), and I came across an article which made me smile, gasp, cheer, exclaim loudly, and fidget excitedly. Yes, all these wondrous reactions from one small article. Small, but not insignificant. Prince has a new 3-disc release coming out on Mach 29th! Ok, so it is really only Prince for the first two discs, before he moves aside for his latest protege (But havent you missed them? The Time, Apollonia, Vanity 6, Tamar...), but more Prince is always a good sign. I was getting tired of my CD collection anyway, its time for something fresh.

My only problem now is - how do I get a hold of a copy? It is part of this new exclusive release fad that is going round, and let's face it - Prince probably started the trend (He was born a trendsetter), by coming up with new ways of distributing his music to fans long before anyone else (I have no facts to back up this last statement, just my pure love of and belief in his greatness). The album is only being released in Target stores across America. But I like in the UK now - and they don't have Target (It's a crime I know, even Australia has Target). I have friends in the States, they could buy me a copy and sent it over... but that is a lot of effort. Or someone from home could do the same if it is released in the Targets at home. Or maybe ebay is the way to go?

I'm not convinced that exclusivity is the way to go - it might make this uber obsessed Prince geek have to work especially hard to acquire the latest work of genius by her idol. However, I may be over reacting - they might think of this too, and sort out something nice for me, so that on March 29th I can sit back and relax on the couch, listening to my favourite man.

Joss's Dollhouse

2009-02-23T09:29:00.000-08:00

I don't think anyone can say that we are living in a golden age of television. After my British experience of Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway I am surprised any viewing audience has the brain cells required to watch anything of substance, I felt my IQ drop to a staggering low after only five minutes of exposure.

This is why I thank my lucky stars we have Joss Whedon. However, my praise is still a little cautious at present. The first two episodes of Dollhouse have been fast past, action packed, and full of intrigue, but it is not up to the same level as firefly. Joss has started to do what he does best - developing interesting and meaningful relationships. But he seems to be taking his time to get there, preoccupied by the low-brow audience pleasing action. Sure, it is still fun, and I have enjoyed both episodes thoroughly, but when will we see the characters develop, the ensemble to form?

The show had many hallmarks of an experienced writer and director at the helm from the outset. The camera work is more Firefly than Buffy, with some of the flashback scenes in episode 2 ("The Target") feeling the same as many scenes in Firefly's "air" episode. The scripts are tight, in the sense that everything is there for a reason, and the set really is a life size dollhouse. An despite the surface showing all great signs of quality, it fails to live up to what we have grown to know and love about Joss.

The back story is confusing, and at this point, audiences aren't interested enough to try to figure it all out. Each "engagement" Echo has is the big drama of every episode - but they have yet to really grab me. What is difficult with the premise is the lack of personality in Echo as Echo, so the audience finds it difficult to really care for her. As yet, we have not met any of the other dolls, apart from a quick glance at Sierra (Oh no, someone from Neighbours in a Joss show, what is going wrong with the world?!), and the only relationship that is in its infancy (but at least it has got off the ground) is completely one sided. That is the relationship between Echo and her handler, Boyd.

I enjoy it, it is Joss after all. I just hope he is given the opportunity to bring the show up to a standard he would be proud of, and a standard that would allow his fans to proudly place a dvd box set of Dollhouse proudly next to Buffy and Firefly (and not have to be hidden by Angel or Alien: Resurrection).

Surprise

2009-02-16T13:40:00.001-08:00

I am watching Gilmore Girls (Season 3, I'm working my way through all 7 from start to end), and some text pops up on the screen: "Directed by Kenny Ortega". Whoa, really? Yes, I recognise that name, I almost wish I didn't. The director of all 3 High School Musicals had to have a past...

In print

2009-02-12T13:30:00.000-08:00

I have been working on my company's newsletter since I started. I am on the editorial board, and I help with the design. This month I did the design, plus some of the adverts, and most importantly, I wrote an article for it also. Ok, I realise this isn't the biggest deal ever, especially since they only print about 250 copies and most people at work glance at the front page before shoving it in the bin, but I feel like I have achieved something. That is all that matters.

This experience has also provided me with a unique insight into the world of writing an editing - we writers become very protective over our work. One of my colleagues proofread the entire newsletter, and tried to put series commas in my work of art! I do not think the Americans get many things right, but series commas is one of the few exceptions. It is not often that I go against the recommendations of the Oxford Guide to Style, but on this particular matter, my mind is made up. I write with series commas, that is just how it is - taking them out means it is no longer my writing. It would have become something completely foreign to me because I would never ever ever have written it. Thus, my very first author tantrum was born, my face grew red, I was flushed, and there might have even been sweat. I got to keep my series commas though, and I was proud to stand up for my article.

Making it in Media

2009-02-11T09:31:00.000-08:00

I have big dreams, and sometimes when I am plugging away at yet another set of proofs, doing the same things I do every day, I wonder where those dreams went. We can be reminded of dreams in places we wouldn't expect, or by the unexpected person. Mine was suddenly cast in a stark spotlight by my grandfather. He sent me a link to a news story (through my mother - I guess he thought I wouldn't pay as much attention if it came from my 84-year old ancestor) which calls for new media talent in Australia. You can read the story on the ABC website, it is called the Hunt For Television's Next Generation of Communicators.

On Australian television, we have a few shows made my ABC TV and Zapruder's Other Films, including Andrew Denton (I never watched this religiously but I loved the interview with Prince Frederik and Australia's Princess Mary) and the horrific Chaser's War on Everything (a show the rest of my country seemed to love, but I found obnoxious, unintelligent, and dull), that have been relatively big hits. And they want something new, exciting, probing, and controversial. To make this brand new show, they want brand new talent, and are asking anyone to apply (More details are at the initiative's website, www.projectnext.net.au).

When my grandfather wanted me to see this (and apparently said to my mother "the person they describe is Megan"), I'm sure in the back of his mind he really just wanted me to be closer to home. I think it is an amazing opportunity and would love to apply - but it is bad timing. Supremely bad timing. Or is it? Can our dreams really have bad timing? Or am I just trying to protect myself from failure? Even if I don't take up this opportunity I am glad that I can spread the word, but hurry, applications close in a little over a month and you need to make an original film!

Catch Up 2: Audio-Visual

2009-02-07T02:07:00.000-08:00

One post in, and I am already procrastinating. I thought it would be easier to write than this. Especially a post about film and television I have been watching lately, but it is difficult to know where to start.

I had been watching lots of How I Met Your Mother before the Christmas break, but soon ran out. You would be amazed at how quickly you can consume those episodes. 22 minutes of Barney is just not enough. So if you miss him, just turn on Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and it will make you feel a little better.

Then there was plenty of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Will's birthday present. This did not entirely thrill me. I do love Star Trek, in all its spin off forms (apart from Enterprise but we do not discuss that particular series in my house), but DS9 is one of those shows I have always enjoyed as a weekly occurrence, rather than devouring it in my usual style of binge television watching (dvd box sets of television series secured my nature as a lazy recluse). To avoid watching Star Trek (Will desperately wants me to watch all 7 series - and I will, just in my own time), I had to find something else to watch, and it turned out to be films.

Those of you who know me, may know that I have a bizarre habit of buying dvds and cds that I've never seen before or heard before, and don't even know the director or actors or artists. But that is how you learn and explore. I won't admit to the very embarrassing film that started a month long obsession (and was bought without having seen it before, I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about) with it and other musicals, but it happened. So there I was, watching Hairspray, Grease, CryBaby (bought after never having seen it before. A friend recommended it, it was directed by John Waters, and starred Johnny Depp, I thought it would have to be good. But something that did annoy me was that they spelt John Waters wrong on the back of the cover (only once) - doesn't anyone check these covers! That would never have passed me on a book production line!), Buffy musical Episode ('Once More With Feeling'), Rent, Phantom of the Opera, Moulin Rouge, etc...

Films other than musicals have also been involved, but there are too many to mention. So let's shift the focus to films seen at the Cinema. Before Christmas we had Twilight. I was very excited to see this film, despite knowing practically nothing about it. I knew that it was about vampires and that Cedric Diggory was in it - also, I thought it was very interesting that it was the highest grossing film ever to be directed by a female (go Catherine Hardwicke!). Vampires was what had me excited, for someone who loves all things vampires (Buffy, Anne Rice, Bram Stoker, Blood Ties, Moonlight, True Blood), I was thrilled to hear of something new to add to my repertoire. When I first saw the film I was unconvinced. I really enjoyed it but I wasn't sure if I loved it. There were aspects that really irritated me. For example, the scene when Bella sits next to Edward in science class, Robert Pattinson's acting is TERRIBLE. I did not understand the scene at all, and there were other small things I wanted to nit pick. However, I soon decided to read the novel that inspired it all, and it shed a whole new light on the film. The book was awful, the film brilliant by comparison. Now I am just waiting for Twilight to come out on dvd so that I can watch it again - and special features, I love special features.

On Boxing Day, Will took me to see Australia. This was a rather nervous viewing, I must admit. I am a big fan of Baz, and was looking forward to watching Australian landscapes on the big screen, so I was hoping against hope that the film was better than the trailers made it seem. I was in luck, I really enjoyed the film. It had a grand, sweeping feeling to it, like a 1930's melodrama in three acts. It was very strange for me to see David Wenham as a bad guy, he is just too lovely in my head to be a baddie. But overall, it was a thoroughly enjoyable film, with Baz's signature dream like feel.

A visit to Bristol led to a girls' afternoon out at the brand spanking new Cribbs Causeway and cinema. What did we see? Something classy, of course. Bride Wars. Ok, so not so classy, and not exactly a brain teaser. It was a fun saturday afternoon chick flick, I don't think I would ever buy it on dvd or ever watch it again, but it was enjoyable while it was on. However, both Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson are capable of so much more that it almost makes me sad to think of.

Last weekend, I finally saw Slumdog Millionaire. It was not at all what I was expecting, I assumed it was a lot lighter than it was. But it was as good as all the hype, brilliant. I absolutely loved it. Who would have thought that a film with so much Who Wants to be a Millionaire in it could be so good!

Ok, this is the last of it. Recently there has been more television series watching which has included Moonlight (Another enjoyable Vampire show axed after only one season), What I like About You (I have a sick Amanda Bynes obsession, please help), Two Guys and a Girl (Don't worry Berg, you'll get Ashley in the end), and the latest has been Gilmore Girls... all day every day. My speech has rapidly jumped in speed and the number of pop culture references I throw in my everyday dialogue has exponentially increased.

My time might not always be spent fruitfully, and yes, it may be true that I do a lot of sitting around, but I do accomplish things. Watching entire seasons or even entire television series' is a big achievement in my book.

Catch Up 1: Books

2009-01-20T10:37:00.000-08:00

No excuses, no blame. Here is the catch up. I have not really been up to much, however, so I thought I would take this from a different angle, themed. Trust me, it'll work.

I have been much better at reading books lately. For someone who professes a love for the written word, and a desire to someday be a "real writer" (did you hear the dreamy breathlessness in that phrase?), I was hopeless at actually doing any decent reading. My recent participation in a book club has changed all that, as I hoped it would. By re-igniting my passion for books and reading, I have started spending more of my evenings reading, and less time watching trashy television (although there has been plenty of that too, but we will get to that - this is "books" remember!).

So you have already heard me rant about Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee. The second book for book club was not much better, with David Peace's 1974. I skipped the next book club as it clashed with my boyfriend's birthday - must do my duty after all. But I was still very much in the spirit of reading. My mood around that time was not good, I was extremely homesick, missing everything about home (even missing the times television shows start... why start a show at 9? that is far too late, you can't even begin getting ready for bed until AFTER 10! an 8.30 start is far more civilised if you ask me. Stupid British television programming.). Instead of picking up a light, fun read, I decided on a tale of woe. How fitting.

I finally picked up Elizabeth Wurtzel's autobiog Prozac Nation. Ever since I came across an intriguing looking dvd in the "festival" section of my local video store in Perth, I had wanted to read the book. The film wasn't great, but Christina Ricci always holds my attention. The book was great. There is a puff on the back of my copy, "Sylvia Plath with the ego of Madonna." That is very true. You want to keep reading, glued to the mess she creates around her, desperate to know what drama will come next, all the while you are thinking "Hey, what nerve does this chick have to tell everyone exactly what depression is and how you feel it?" She talks about depression generally, like her experience is the only experience, that all experiences are like hers, etc. Sure, it is just a figure of speech, but it does get tiresome in points. On the whole, I loved it. Perhaps it is slightly strange to really enjoy a book about someone's mental deteriation, but it was interesting, well written, and strangely addictive.

I followed it up with another odd choice. A few years ago I picked up Anais Nin's Henry and June, which has excerpts from her diaries regarding her affairs with both Henry Miller and his then-wife, June. I thought it was brilliant, she had such a flair for describing her life. I wished that I could write like that one day, so naturally, so free. I then read Delta of Venus, a collection of short erotic fiction. In the notes of that edition, they said that the collection defined the female voice of erotic fiction, which of course made me curious about what the male voice was. Thus Henry Miller and Tropic of Cancer. Again, I loved it. Brutal, honest, funny, exhilarating, and way before its time. I admit that I did not expect to pick up a book written in the 1930s and read the words "cunt" and "fucking" - and there was lots of both.

Then we have JK Rowling's latest publication, The Tales of Beedle the Bard. Yes, I pre-ordered it, I am a big nerd. I admit openly to loving Harry Potter (even if the final book was utter shit). I was hoping to enjoy a few short fairy tiles, instead, I was bored. They are dull, poorly written, inane stories. The best of them, "The Tale of the Three Brothers", is the one we have already read, it was one of the only interesting moments in the Deathly Hallows. Not only were the stories second rate, but she had notes by Dumbledore accompanying each story. Since when was Dumbledore a completely stupid, ignorant, FOOL?! She made him STUPID! His notes were irritating, frustrating, and completely pointless. WHY INCLUDE THEM JK?! Man, she has lost her touch. I wish her all the best in the future, and I hope she finds her mojo, cause this book SUCKED.

Never mind, no crying over spilt milk. Next on the reading list was a birthday present - William Shatner's Autobiography, Up Till Now. Hey, don't judge, I already admitted to being a big nerd! And what can I say - loved it! He is funny, clever, irritating, strange, fascinating, everything that makes a biography worth reading. I love him in Star Trek, I think Boston Legal is one of the best television shows EVER, and I also really enjoy his albums (yes, his music is cool, Has Been was produced by Ben Folds - that MUST mean it is cool!). So I spent three days of my christmas holidays curled up in bed, reading all about Shatner and his crazy life. I guess I always thought of him as a huge star, but he really wasn't for most of his life. Oh well, he is Kirk, TJ Hooker, and Denny Crane. We love you Shatman!

On to something far more serious - Italo Calvino's If on a Winter's night A Traveler. This was the next book club read - and the first one I liked. It was a little strange, I have never enjoyed 2nd person narration - until now. It was innovative. That is enough to explain the entire novel. It had elements of the ridiculous, and sometimes the farce became a little too annoying, but I was generally impressed. A crazy idea that came together unbelievably well. It was so interesting to read, and throws up many different questions about authors, ownership of material, the art of reading, publishing, the whole book industry, and what ideas are. I highly recommend it.

Wow, you'd think this would be the end... but there are still two more.

I then read Twilight. Not exactly a vintage classic, but I had wanted to read it since seeing the film in December. I shall preface the rest with - the film is SO MUCH BETTER than the book. The book is a little Mills and boons, not really my taste. And Bella has no gumption in the novel, no spirit, no strength of character. I think Kristin Stewart brings the character to life in ways Stephanie Meyer could never imagine, and definitely could never have written. Despite the terrible writing, and my bitter disappointment, I couldn't put it down. It was a weird sensation, lying in bed thinking "this is rubbish but all I want to do is read more." I finished it in three evenings, piss easy read, it has nothing of substance within it. I guess the only thing the book did better than the film was its depiction of Edward - far hotter in my imagination than Robert Pattinson could ever be.

Ok, this is the last one, I promise. I love Wil Wheaton - most of you who know me, will already know this. I loved him in Stand By Me, I watch The Secret of Nimh just to hear his voice, I have watched Toy Soldiers far more times than anyone should ever do (and I usually turn it off after he gets shot, who cares about Sean Astin?!), and TNG is the greatest (even if Wesley was a bit of a shit character). And for the past few years I have been an avid reader of his blog. One of the first books I read after graduating High School was Just a Geek, and I thought it was brilliant. SO, last year I bought The Happiest Days of Our Lives. After the initial excitement of getting an email from the man himself (explaining why he was late in shipping the book), a very small book arrived in the mail. I was surprised by its size, I thought it would be at least half the length of Just a Geek, at least. Uni was too much at the time, however, and I shelved it. I picked it up on sunday evening, and started reading. It is Tuesday evening, and it is finished. I enjoyed it, it was good, but it was no where near as good as its predecessor. There should have been more, and there should have been fewer excerpts from Just a Geek. But don't worry Wil, I still love you.

Ok that is it. Maybe I have been busy! That is really impressive for me. Now I just have to read book club's next book - Flat Earth News. It doesn't look terribly promising, but I may be pleasantly surprised.

worldly truth

2008-12-01T10:53:00.000-08:00

"I hear not a word because she is beautiful and I love her and now I am happy and willing to die."

- Henry Miller

Shaven, Waxed, or Natural?

2008-11-29T08:27:00.000-08:00

I remember watching some late night television show with my mother one night - back in the days when my insomnia was normal, accepted, just part of life. The show was covering various physical makeovers for women, I think that it may have been something like along the lines of what women do to please their men. We were taken to a waxing parlour that specialised in decorative and personalised "bikini" waxing. One woman had it all finely braided, another had her man's initial ripped out of her thatch, and another simply made it into a decorative pattern. As a young girl, who was only on the verge of passing through puberty and adolescence, I wondered why someone would go through that kind of pain for any reason. I was most certainly baffled by why anyone would do it for a man.

As I grew older this obsession with hair seemed to get worse. After the traumatic meeting with a girl in my class who refused to sit next to me because I had "hairy legs" when I was only 9 years old, led to my first encounter with a shaver. Before long, the underarm hair was methodically removed as well. I got older, as did my friends, and innocent conversations about our first periods were replaced by first time blow jobs, and then the big de-flowering. Before I knew what had happened, my friends and I were completely obsessed by appearance and how it would affect our love lives. We discussed how embarrassing it would be to be accidentally happened upon while wearing only mismatching underwear, or what it would be like to forget to shave our armpits for our high school ball (like Julia Roberts at the Academy Awards).

Eventually I decided that shaving wasn't for me - far too much effort for a result that did not last. So, I found myself a waxer and massage therapist who was, quite frankly, a godsend. Not only did she become a good friend, but she was someone to talk to about my problems that didn't come attached to a PhD or BSc or some other meaningless piece of paper that seemed to give people a licence to patronise and form opinions about things which they had no idea about. But more than this, she helped me explore the world or hair removal in a way that I never thought I would be game enough to do. I had my first leg waxes, which felt like someone had slapped me extremely hard, and repeatedly, all over my legs. They were left red and raw, so painful that my shower that night stung like lemon juice on a fresh cut. It wasn't too long before I became almost immune to the pain, and I was regularly having all the hairs on my legs ripped out from the roots, and enjoying stroking the clean, smooth by-products. From there, I made the leap to having my very first bikini wax. I didn't get too much removed - I wasn't prepared for that kind of pain, but I did want to be able to get changed in the girls' locker room without being terribly embarrassed, trying to hide the hair around my knickers from the other girls.

It was almost five years later before I had what is known as a "landing strip". I had still not ventured much further from my normal bikini wax. This is not to say that I had a completely untamed 70's afro style bush. On the contrary, I have always kept it neat, clean, tidy and trimmed. I had been living in Bristol for six months now, and had not found myself a masseuse or waxer, and I was in desperate need of both. While I was on holiday with my aunt in Switzerland, I decided to treat myself and she suggested a small resort in a French village not far from the border. It was a lovely place, and good service - the only problem was the language barrier. I could generally understand basic everyday French along with being able tell the girl "Je suis Australienne." Along with my name, and that I had been living in the UK, that was about all I was able to easily communicate to her. Meanwhile, her English consisted of "Australia... very sunny!", and I had to agree with her there. She tried to ask what kind of downstairs wax I wanted and rattled off a long list of various terms that meant nothing to me. I thought it would safe enough to go with what was called "classique" - big mistake. Instead, it was a very tiny landing strip. I walked out of there in pain, and declaring to my aunt that I felt positively naked.

Why do we all have an obsession with removing the hair that is perfectly natural with what the Cat from Red Dwarf once called his "Hot wax unsightly hair remover"? I remember watching the first season of Californication and thinking that it was truly inspired, when David Duchovny's character expressed his dislike of women who insist on completely removing all traces of hair, making them look as though they never went through puberty. No one wants to fuck someone who still looks like a minor down where it counts. Society hasn't always been this way. There was a time when men loved every part of a woman's minge, but those days seem to have gone. We no longer have provocative writers like Henry Miller who celebrate in a real "cunt" and the pride involved in fucking one. He writes, "And if you are afraid of being fucked publicly I will fuck you privately. I will tear off a few hairs from your cunt and paste them on Boris' chin. I will bite into your clitoris and spit out two franc pieces..."

Why do we no longer rejoice in what makes women different from girls? We should be proud to be beautiful women. Why are we made to feel like we don't care enough to groom ourselves to a level of complete baldness? Why is it so important? Maybe I am the one that needs my head checked, since I never really saw any beauty in stark naked genitals, I always found a soft hair around them to be more comforting, more inviting, more adult. I can't help but notice the difference in the erotic literature of Anais Nin, which makes a point of including a woman's bush as part of her sexual identity as well as beauty, and the ponography of today that rarely has anything other than plastic-looking women who are completely shaven or waxed. How did we get here and what is our society's obsession?

Ch-Ch-Changes

2008-11-23T10:12:00.000-08:00

It is funny how dreams change over the years.

First, I wanted to be a writer.

Then, I wanted to be an astronaut. (But too many of them blew up)

So, I wanted to design spaceships instead.

Then, I wanted to be a mad scientist in the ilk of Doc Emmet Brown.

Finally, I decided to become a writer.

Now I've grown up, come full circle, and am at a loss.

Same

2008-11-21T00:44:00.000-08:00

I thought I had the potential to be extraordinary. I thought I was different, special, interesting, intelligent.

"But everyone wants to be a depressive artist," he said.

There is no greater disappointment than discovering you are just like everyone else.

Naiveté and disappointment

2008-11-06T09:49:00.000-08:00

Last night was Guy Fawkes Night, also known as Bonfire Night. This is a prime example of Australian, and more general, naiveté (yes, as opposed to ignorance). Those who know me will be aware of my slightly unhealthy obsession with the goddess Natalie Portman - she is the most beautiful, intelligent, sensitive, talented creature to ever walk the earth. Only three sentences in, and I already drifted off topic! My point is, Natalie was the main driving force behind me seeing V for Vendetta. It is a brilliant film, and I highly recommend it.

Not everything to come out of the experience was good, however. You see, the film led me to believe that Guy Fawkes night was a celebration of a man fighting for his right for religious and political freedom. That every year people celebrated the idea that someone had the balls to try to organise such a plot. As I discovered this year, that is not the case. FOrtunately, or unfortunately, depending on your point of view, Guy Fawkes night is not a celebration of the dream behind the man, but rather, a celebration of the plan having been foiled.

This discovery left me feeling very cold and disappointed. Here I thought the night was a brilliant political statement about standing up for your rights, when it was really just another acceptance of the governing body, bowing to our lord and master as it were. It's not that I condone blowing up buildings, or important people - or anyone or anything for that matter - but the idea of fighting for one's freedom, whatever the cost, I believe that is something we should celebrate and strive for. Guy Fawkes wanted to create an England that would not persecute people simply for being Catholic, and for his troubles he was Hanged, Drawn, and Quartered.

Maybe it is just me who expected it to be a celebration of something that it is not, but I was thoroughly disappointed. The actual night did little to bring the concept up in my estimations, as it was cold and wet, and the only fireworks I saw were from my window, looking at the ones my neighbours were setting off in their back yard. Maybe Saturday night's big show will change my mind a little, and it being just a big fun celebration will be enough to satisfy me.

Whatever. I blame the Wachowski brothers for my expectations being too high.

I'm no conspiracy theorist, but...

2008-11-04T09:50:00.001-08:00

It seems to me that the BBC has been using the media it dominates to increase the hype about itself rather deviously. For those non-UK based readers, here is a quick low-down on what has been occurring over the past week or so in the UK press (for a more in depth timeline, visit the BBC's own report):

Jonathan Ross featured as a guest presenter on Russell Brand's Radio 2 show, and said "fuck". The BBC received 2 complaints about his swearing.
During this same broadcast the two of them made some prank phone calls to an old, harmless, and sensitive actor known for his work in Faulty Towers.
The actor and his agent ask for an apology, at which point the story is picked up by the press - including the BBC news.
After the story is picked up in the news, they get 1,850 complaints. But how many of those people actually heard the broadcast? And how many of them just listened on the iPlayer to be able to hear the offending prank calls?!
Complaints number 4,772. The Prime Minister comments on the situation, which, let's face it, is plain ridiculous.
Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross are suspended. You may ask "why?" - don't be ashamed, I asked the same thing. The show was pre-recorded, it went through all the necessary checks, and they said "It's A-OK to go on air!" The BBC hires an out there, crazy (and yes, very annoying) presenter to do crazy stunts in order to get a large audience, but as soon as he starts to get an ENORMOUS reaction, they hit the panic button! What's that about?
Russell Brand quits, Jonathan Ross says sorry.

What a lot of fuss over nothing! But look how much press it got the BBC!!! And just when you thought their star was waning, they come up with another far fetched tale of offensive programming... "Clarkson Joke Sparks Complaint" is the headline splashed across the BBC's news website (and, I admit, I heard it first on the radio this morning). Apparently some comments he made on sunday's Top Gear about Truck Driver's killing prostitutes for a living has given cause to over 500 complaints. At least this one is truly entertaining! Again, it is a presenter known for being outrageous, controversial - FUNNY! Why are people so uptight? Lighten up people, enjoy it, it was a joke! Television and radio should be entertainment. If you are likely to be offended, switch off when a show that you know is often crude, rude, and offensive is about to start. Stop creating the BBC's media about themselves for them! They should have to work for the hype, rather than simply getting prim and proper as soon as a complaint is made.

Stand up for interesting, outrageous, and funny media content!

For those fans of Jeremy Clarkson (I knew a fair few girls in Australia who seriously fancied the man), I am going to pop in a little pic for you. And on that note, I'm going to go watch the latest ep of Top Gear on the BBC iPlayer...

healing musicals

2008-11-03T13:31:00.000-08:00

My heart may freeze

Or it can burn

The pain will ease

If I can Learn

There is no future

There is no past

I live this moment

As my last

There's only us

There's only this

Forget regret

Or life is yours to miss

- Another Day, from Rent

Wesley Crusher was NOT as annoying as most people seem to think!

2008-10-28T14:00:00.000-07:00

I admit that I have been complaining a lot, of late, about the poor state of the television programmes gracing our screens these days. But at least one show recently made a move that made sense - they brought Wil Wheaton back to our tellies! After his appearance in Numbers last year, I was very grateful (and confess to having watched that episode more than once, despite not being the most avid Numbers fan in general - despite it having Mr. Universe in it). This year, he has appeared in an episode of Criminal Minds. I was surprised at how truly convincing he was as, shall we say, a very creepy perv. Wil was fantastic (and yes I know my bias: I love his acting, his blog, and even his books - but I still think my opinion is valid). I'm not a big fan of Criminal Minds, especially after several key cast changes, and this resurgence in interest of the show will not boost its ratings past Wil's episode... But, I am truly grateful for them for giving this great actor a decent gig.

Ok a bit too over-the-top in the style that Megan-needs-to-get-over-her-obsession-with-out-of-her-league-and-unavailable-celebrities-that-she-will-never-ever-meet-EVER. I shall finish this before I get to a point where people wonder if I have a hidden shrine to the man in some secret room of my house. As a final point I will say that I hope Wil finds every future acting success, 'cause this sci fi geek certainly misses his on screen presence!

(Also, if you are interested, head on over to Wil's blog and check out his imdb entry too - if you haven't seen everything on that list, you should be ashamed!)

What really grinds my gears...

2008-10-28T10:35:00.000-07:00

Super super super super SUPER picky eaters... If you aren't going to like any of it, then just don't eat it... please refrain from complaining about it constantly, trying to pick something "safe" from the menu - and when even that disappoints you, loudly whinge about it to everyone. It ruins the meal for everyone. If you are that picky, make your own food - always. Just leave everyone else in peace!

What tickles my fancy...

Tonight is supposed to be the first snow of the season in Oxfordshire. It is predicted to be light, and it won't stick, but still, exciting for Aussies who have never seen snow fall. I thought it was more than enough excitement when there was ice all over the grass in the park this morning. I ran across the road and started playing with the ice - scraping it off grass blade, stomping on it, picking up icy leaves and looking at them in the light. I am like a child, opening big, colourful presents on christmas morning!

Energy Crisis

2008-10-27T10:34:00.000-07:00

These days, everything we do relies on electricity. Can you imagine if one day we just ran out of electricity? We would not know how to live without electricity. Jobs would be lost,along with entertainment and heating/air conditioning. No computers, no televisions, no music systems.

The other day at my work, there was a power cut. As we learnt later, it was apparently a fault all over the area - the result of a careless contractor accidentally cutting a high voltage line. But all that contractor deserves is praise! After two buildings sat without power (and having difficulty using bathrooms without light - what is the point of having emergency lighting over the basins but not in the cubicles?!) for an hour and a half, the big bosses said that we could all go home. I was home by 12.30 in the afternoon. The power to the area was not restored until 5.15 that evening.

It was strange to be at work but unable to do your job. People were sitting at their computers, cursing themselves for not having saved their work (they should have known better!). Some went outside to enjoy the sun and played frisbee. Other, more productive members of the staff, re-organised their desks, or did a big clean out. Some gossiped, some took a nap, and some wandered down to the shops with ice creams, hoping that they would start giving away before they melted. But then a very few of us (myself included), just happened to have some work to do - on PAPER! We continued to work until we were allowed to leave. It was strange the way a whole business centre had to shut down because of one person's error. How would we have coped if the power cut had lasted days, weeks, months?!

All of this just reminded me of an episode of Red Dwarf (Series IV, episode "White Hole"), where Holly shuts off power to the ship. Lister and the cat try frying an egg using a hairdryer powered by a bicycle... and complain that they can't even open a can of beans because the can opener is electric.

...And speaking of Red Dwarf, for those of you who don't know: the rumours are true! There are some new Red Dwarf television specials being released sometime next year on Dave. Check out all the latest news at the Red Dwarf website.

bum bum ba da da da da dum...

2008-10-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

If you didn't guess.. that was my impression of the Boston Legal theme song... which also happens to be my current ringtone (I am sooooo cool!).

Anyway, I just used my awesome Crane, Poole, & Schmidt glass coasters (birthday pressie from Will) and wanted to tell the world.

"Come again?" - Shirley

"Don't say that, It puts pressure on me!" - Denny

Lock and Load!

For those a little behind the times...

2008-10-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

Today I encountered a friend who loves all things Joss and Nathan Filion as much as I do... but they had yet to watch Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog! So, I know I have posted about this before, but those of you who haven't seen it yet - WATCH IT NOW! I am very excited about the dvd release, and hoping it will be worldwide. But to wet your appetite a little:

Give an inch, they take a mile

2008-10-21T10:42:00.001-07:00

Have you ever found that if you do something nice - something out of the ordinary and out of your way for someone - they want more and more and more until they suck you dry? (ok, yes, slightly melodramatic, but it is true nonetheless). I have experienced this lately both in work life and everyday life. I went out of my way for an author, doing things for him that we would not normally do, and he wants more to the point of making my job much harder and acting as though I only have one book to look after.

I think people should appreciate what others do for them more. So, if I haven't thanked anyone lately, for anything they have done for me, I apologise. Thanks. You are amazing and I really appreciate you.

To Lay Like Vegetables/Too Lazy To Read

2008-10-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

I was having a discussion with a colleague today about reading books: I love reading books, but it is so much easier to turn on the tv or put on a dvd. I rarely end up reading as many books as I mean to. Intentions can only go so far. In fact, I joined a book club for two reasons: 1) to make friends 2) to force myself to read (I work better with a deadline). I think it is sad when someone who loves reading, and books in general, has to join a book club in order to do what she loves. I'd like to make excuses - to say that I am just a product of my society, but the truth of it is - I am just plain lazy.

Wil Wheaton's blog post for today also mentions a similar issue. Reading has become harder - in the sense of self motivation. We have to consciously choose to read when there are many other easier (and lazier) things we could be doing.

Are we going to become too lazy to read? I hope not, especially since I want to make a living from it. I really need to get myself in gear, and kill my dvd habit.

Copyediting course reflections

2008-10-15T09:39:00.000-07:00

For the past two days, I have been attending a copyediting course held at my company. It was a very interesting course, and well worth it. Having just entered the world of publishing, I had many preconceived notions of what publishing titles meant (like "editor", "proofreader", "copyeditor", etc), and many of these ideas were wrong. It was great to have the role of copyeditor clarified in such a way that meant I now have the skills become a freelance copyeditor (in theory - I think I would need a little bit more practice before I did anything that drastic). Working in production, and having to typeset the manuscripts that we receive from copyeditors, it is good to know what they should have been doing, what we can and should give feedback on, and what is not their job to do.

A copyeditor is someone who edits the actual manuscript... for grammar, punctuation, style, etc. They combine the house style (style sheets, templates, referencing guides etc) to the author's style to make a consistent and well written text. This is what I thought (before starting work in publishing) editorial (within a publishing house) handled. But this is not the case. Editorial is more focused with commissioning, developing series' and various kinds of books to be published, working out costings (whether a book is financially viable), and the best way to produce it - series' styles etc. It certainly means a rethink for me when it comes to what area of publishing I want to end up in, and what specifically it is that I want to spend my time doing. The only thing to be careful with, however, is that apparently this is a slight anomaly to this area of publishing - and many other places use different terms for different tasks and expect different things from production versus editorial.

After this course, I would like to commend our copyeditors. They do a lot of work, and it is hard work. Most importantly, I think they do all that work very cheaply. Maybe I will think twice about begrudging a copyeditor who asks for a small rise in the budget.

Good Times, Bad Times...

2008-10-14T09:50:00.000-07:00

Books, films, television shows...

1. Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee by Dee Brown: I have joined a book club at my work in an attempt to make some friends (and motivate me a little when it comes to reading - it is so much easier to just pop on a dvd!). This has been the first month's book. I wouldn't recommend it. It is dull, naive history. And that is all it is - a history book. Each chapter feels just like the last. Although it was a tragedy, read something else. If you want to know about Native American history - go buy a history book, visit the places, go to some museums, but don't read a book that pretends to be a clever novel, but does nothing other than bore and irritate!

2. Gone with the Wind: Brilliant film. I think we need more stories with strong, charismatic women who aren't afraid of life or a challenge, who take risks and live life like it should be lived. We also need more Rhett Butlers in the world - who's with me?! I watched this on sunday night and could watch it again. It has everything, attitude, scandal, sex (racy for its time - they actually hinted at denying a husband sex!), love, passion, and death. Great stuff. If you haven't see it, watch it. And on that note, get into more old films. There are some truly brilliant films out there, it shouldn't matter if they were made before colour was invented!

3. Jonathan Creek: Watching murder mysteries always reminds me of my mother, and friday nights in with her watching Midsummer Murders, or Frost, or Diagnosis Murder, or Inspector Morse, or Lewis, or New Tricks, or... I had never seen Jonathan Creek before but it came highly recommended amongst many goodies that made up my birthday present from a doting boyfriend. At first it was strange seeing Alan Davies outside of the Q.I. bubble - I had not expected him to be any kind of real actor - just himself, always, a big know it all that everyone enjoys making fun of (in good humour of course). The show was enjoyable, intriguing, fun. I thoroughly enjoyed it, although anything in this genre will never be my absolute favourite, it makes for great lazy evening viewing. However, if Caroline Quentin irritates you, this might not be your show... stick with Midsummer Murders and wonder how there are so many new murders and families we have never come across before in such a small village!

Awkward Work Moment

2008-10-13T09:45:00.001-07:00

Before reading the following entry, I am going to issue a warning: You may say to yourself "overshare!"

This afternoon at work, I was busy doing complicated reviser's checks on multi-lingual book. But after many cups of tea... the toilet beckoned. Once there, I was in the middle of my business when... THERE WAS A BLACKOUT! Now the toilets at our work have no windows, and there is no emergency lighting. It was pitch black. At that moment, I was determined not to move in case my aim was out. Fortunately I found the toilet paper in the dark, and by the time it came to putting pants back on and flushing the lights had returned.

It was a very random and unfortunate occurrence. This is why all toilets should have windows!

Milestones

2008-10-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, no matter how far we have come, no matter how much we have achieved, or how hard we have worked, life still doesn't seem to match up to the dream. It was my 21st birthday last week. Not as big a deal for an Australian (or Brit) as it would be for an American, but it is a major milestone nonetheless.

But instead of focusing on what I have achieved in the past year, all I could think about was how much I missed home. It is true, the grass is always greener on the other side. I had always wanted to move to the UK, to be a famous author, and a sought after editor. I moved to England, finished my degree, moved from Bristol to Oxford, and got my first job in Publishing... but somehow it isn't enough. I miss my family and friends, I miss the lower cost of living, the friendlier people, the better starting times for tv shows in the evening (everyone knows the main shows should start at 8.30pm, not 9.00!!!!). I suppose I could pick holes in everything.

I should be thankful for the milestones I have conquered. Not everyone is as lucky as I am.

There is a first for everything

2008-10-06T12:21:00.000-07:00

After months (literally - no exaggeration) of jealously watching my colleagues receive packages in the mail, I received my first package today. It was so exciting! I received a package of revised proofs from the author of a manuscript I am working on at the moment. There was no note in it, nothing at all, he hadn't even emailed me to tell me they were on their way. But that is precisely what made it so exhilarating. I opened an unknown package (sure, with an idea of what it could be, but any solid or concrete clues to what it was), first thing in the morning, with a pair of scissors that broke in my hand, and all I could think about was the promise of more firsts to come.

And there was more. As a production team we visited our book warehouse and distribution center. Now this may not sound too exciting to you non-book-geeks... but to us, it was great fun. Not only were there aisles and aisles of books (published by us! well, not me - yet - but soon), but there were CONVEYOR BELTS. They were so cool. The child within was unleashed. I wanted to play with the giant, dangerous toys. Packing, picking books off shelves, organising, sending a box from one end of the warehouse to another... just seemed like so much fun!

Fun was soon over, and back to work. Very busy work.

The Sci Fi Hotties

2008-10-01T11:09:00.000-07:00

Mercedes McNab and I

Jamie Bamber and I

My encounter with the Goddess!

Collectormania: Milton Keynes, September '08

2008-10-01T10:50:00.000-07:00

Let's take a break from the serious professional talk, and focus on the fun. This weekend was spent doing one of my most favourite activities - attending sci fi conventions. Yes, I'm a big geek, and proud of it. My friend Helen came down from Leicestershire and we went together (perhaps I should mention that I met the lovely Helen at the Red Dwarf convention this time last year). We got ourselves all dolled up - even though it isn't all that difficult to look hotter than many of the other geeks there, we still like to put in a little effort - before heading off for our big day out!

The day involved meeting the following stars:

Jamie Bamber: Lee "Apollo" Adama from Battlestar Galactica. All I can really say, other than yes he was a lovely guy (and not just a pretty boy/dumb American that I assumed he would be), he was hot hot HOT! Trust me, those of you who aren't geeks, or don't like sci fi at all, Battlestar might be worth getting into just for this bloke. mmmmmmmm, yummy!
Mercedes McNab: Harmony in Buffy and Angel. She was very sweet in person, had perfect hair, and looked very sexy. I rubbed myself up against her close and tight. She has one of those infectious smiles, that was even more effective than it might have been on any ordinary day.
Morena Baccarin: Inara from Firefly. Before I talk about how gorgeous this woman is, those of you who have never watched firefly - SHAME ON YOU! Brilliant show, watch it! Morena was quiet, but very nice. She had cut her hair to a little pixie cut and it was stunning. Halle Berry stunning. I was so excited when she put her arm around me in the photo shoot.
Michael Dorn: Worf from Star Trek (The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine). I was quite excited about this particular meet and greet. I remember when I was a bit younger (ok about 5 yrs ago, so not that young) and I saw pics of him without his Klingon makeup on - I said to myself "Now that there is a very handsome older man". And he was. However, he was very quote - he didn't say anything other than, "Thanks, have a nice day". *Sigh* Not everyone can live up to expectations. I also had an embarrassing moment minutes before him when I exclaimed (out loud) something about wanting to imagine him attacking me - but it was the crew member that leapt to the wrong (or dirtiest) conclusions, it was not intended that way.
Amber Benson: The beautiful, lovely, exquisite Tara from Buffy. Can you tell that I love her? When I saw her, I thought "goddess". I immediately had two very different visions of her. The first had her in a grecian robe, a goddess with her backing singers behind her, bopping to the Motown-esque tunes she was serenading me with; and the second, where she was a hot, grungy, lesbian rock chick and all she wanted was me, naked, in the dressing room haha! We then bumped into her in one of the nearby coffee shops, I had a big smile and waved (she probable thought I was a lunatic - but after revealing my imaginary world to you, you may agree with her).

Overall, great day. I also wandered past Matthew Lewis (a.k.a. Neville Longbottom) who seemed very nice, and kinda cute in a geeky but down to earth sort of way. I also managed to win a star trek toaster that toasts the star trek insignia into your toast. What girl could do without such a trinket?!

Embarrassing Work Moment #1

2008-10-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

In our business park is a sandwich shop that I frequent every lunchtime. I always get a salad sandwich (or sarnie in Aussie speak), with another filling, be it some kind of meat, or egg mayo, or cheese and spring onion, or tuna mayo, etc. It is all rather exciting, getting to make the choice of what kind of sarnie filler will I have today? Winter has kicked in however, and today I thought I might try something different - big mistake. They also do stuffed potatoes, which might seem harmless, but I found otherwise.

Just as I finished my potato I started feeling ill. I thought maybe I had just eaten too much, or needed some fluid. It wasn't that. Whatever it was, I reacted badly, and instantly. I was running to and from the toilet for the rest of the afternoon. Every time I had to leave my desk I could feel eyes on my back, following me as I left. On my way back in I would see them watching me some with eyebrows inquisitively raised, others with looks of pity, and others stifling giggles. It was awful. I felt ill in all the worst ways - stomach, headache, feverish, lightheaded.

Tomorrow I will get my sandwich as usual, no matter what the weather is like.

All I seem to do is apologise... sorry?!

2008-09-15T10:17:00.000-07:00

Oh dear. It has been a long time. I am not entirely sure I am cut out for the work place. I am too much of a dreamer, too much of a lazy ass who likes to sit around and watch dvds or read books. Im really not a worker; not the kind of person who would be caught singing the seven dwarves' song. Hi Ho Hi Ho, it's off to work we go...

I really must find balance in my life. Balance between work, the creative, the relaxation, and the necessary. It will come though, and until then, I can only hope to update intermittently. I suppose this won't mean a growing audience for my blog, but such is life.

A life update: has no real substance. My mother came to visit over the weekend and she met the boyfriend. This is a monumental event for me - finally having gotten over severe commitment phobia with a nice boy, then I have to go through the ordeal of parental judgement. I'm not entirely sure whether it is worse for the one being judged, or the child of the parent. There is a lot hanging on it for us. Whether we are the kind of people who only tend to like people who are disapproved of by our parents, or those that need our olds' approval. I am one that needs approval - constant affirmation. Luckily, Will was "charming" and "a good choice" according to mother. I suppose you can't get much better than that.

On another note, I hope everyone is mourning that this is the fifth and final season of Boston Legal about to begin. Although the 4th season failed to have the same spark of the 2nd and 3rd seasons, it was still brilliant. Without Alan Shore and Denny Crane gracing our television screens, a giant hole will be left in tv programming - we need more clever writing! Lucky for me, I have them on dvd! For new shows however, I am looking forward to Joss Whedon's newest creation Dollhouse. His internet phenomenon, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, did not disappoint. I have no doubt that this new teaming up with Eliza Dushka will be great fun. Also, I'm not sure how many of you are big fans of vampire shows, but there is a new HBO series called True Blood starting which looks like it could go either way. I guess only time will tell!

HR Departments

2008-08-07T10:14:00.001-07:00

Many big companies and firms have their very own HR Departments - but are they helpful? I was offered a job, and two weeks later I was meant to start. I was meant to wait for a contract in the mail first, however. No such contract arrived, and I was unable to get in touch with anyone before my start date. So I showed up (it is better to go and be sent away than not turn up when they are expecting you). Well, my boss and team were expecting me, HR was not. A week and a half later (having been working there everyday since my start date), I finally get a contract and a computer ID. All because HR hadn't quite dotted all their i's or crossed all their t's yet.

Not only was this extremely frustrating for me, but it created hassles for everyone else in my team. My training was delayed, and they had to find boring, repetitive, menial tasks for me to do that didn't need a computer.

The worst part of all of this - HR was frustrated with ME!!! And why? Apparently the paperwork had been lost somewhere so I had caused them problems. I have decided that these companies don't need HR Departments (sure a little hasty after only one experience, but really - who needs them?!), just leave it to the individual managers to sort it out. It would all get done much faster.

Job Expectations

2008-08-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

I was replying to an email from my boyfriend today. He is on holiday in Cuba and was asking me what exactly I do in my job. He has yet to get a professional job (in the process of looking/applying for positions) and doesn't really have a sense of what day to day professional work involves. It made me think, I didn't really know before I started either. I'm sure it is different for every job, but I will tell you what mine has been like so far.

Although I have a specific position and main roles, I am not just doing one or a few things over and over again, all day long - it certainly isn't that monotonous. Unfortunately for me it has been more monotonous than it should be simply because HR and IT haven't got their acts together to organise things for me properly, and I still have no access to the computing systems at work. So, yes, I have been mainly doing basic copy-editing tasks, one after another, day after day. But my job as a Production Editor entails (or at least will entail) far more than simply revising manuscripts, and memorising what all the proofing symbols mean. I am almost like a project manager for books that are assigned to me. Once I get a manuscript handed over from editorial and told the general style, kinds of cover design, etc that the book will be I begin the process of getting the book ready for press. This includes hiring an external copyeditor, preparing the manuscript for the copyeditor, collating proofs from copyeditor, proofreader, and author, Typesetting, reviser's checks, either designing a cover myself or liaising with an in-house designer, preparing the manuscript for press, organising a printer, sending to press. There are other responsibilities too, this was just off the top of my head after not even having done most of these tasks. I will have multiple books at various stages all the time, so each day I will be doing many different things. It certainly will not be dull... once I finally get a computer login.

Week 1

2008-08-01T09:41:00.000-07:00

My first week as a professional working woman. Yes, I have a job, I have started, and I don't believe I made any major screw ups in my first week (but that could of course simply be wishful thinking). I am a Production Editor for Routledge, and thoroughly enjoyed my first week there. It hasn't been the smoothest week, I admit. My contract hasn't been properly sorted, nor my computer ID, among other things. So it was slow to start. Mainly reviser's checks and other copy-editing like tasks. It still doesn't feel real - being someone who has a real job in the real world. I am earning money - WHAT?! It is a shame that it wont quite be enough money for me to live the extravagant lifestyle I always wanted, I will have to wait a good few years for that.

There is something unexpected that has come with the new job. I have found a lot of "kindred spirits" as Anne Shirley would say. Sci fi geeks! Everywhere! It is truly fantastic. I used to think we were a rare breed, but it turns out we are everywhere, especially in the Publishing world. I like to think "of course, it is an intelligent genre to be interested in, therefore those of us who enjoy it need to be intelligent also". I am guessing this is another example of my wishful thinking, rather than admitting that we might be a bunch of sad book worms who love imagination and possibilities - which is what sci fi is all about really.

Outside of work it has been a little strange this week. There is no one else in the house with me (I have three house mates). My boyfriend is in Cuba, and more interested in talking to the Cuban security guards about their pay and lifestyle than enjoying the sun and beach. I have been coming home everyday and crashing in front of Gough (a.k.a. my beautiful iMac named after Gough Whitlam) and some dvds. My Ally McBeal complete box set arrived in the mail yesterday (one last big Amazon splurge before I have to start paying for everything with my own hard earned money), so I have started watching them all from the beginning. Yesterday evening I also discovered that there is a black cat in the neighbourhood. He or she was out in our backyard, so I went out too... I just sat there for a while so that he would get used to me. I wouldn't walk out onto the muddy ground (not in bare feet anyway and I knew if I went to grab my shoes he would be gone when I got back), and he wouldn't come to me. So, my hope is that the two of us will bump into each other enough for him to get used to me and come for a little cuddle. I get so lonely for cat cuddles. It is a very important part of life, I really can not understand people who hate cats.

Well, that was my week. My weekend does not promise much excitement - hair appointment, dvds, reading, and cleaning. But who knows what will happen in a city FULL of sci fi geeks!!!

Absence

2008-07-26T12:29:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted in over a month (my bad), but I am aiming to begin again, without further interruptions and delays. Instead of an in depth re-cap (or until I feel like writing about it), here is a brief explanation of my absence...

Boyfriend went to America

I went to Switzerland

I found a place to live in Oxford

Boyfriend helped me to move in

Had a 2nd job interview for my preferred job

Was offered said job (I have no idea why)

Took the job

Met the Boyfriend's family (terrifying, but I was a big hit)

Went to London

Boyfriend went to Cuba

Starting job on monday

How does that all sound?

Who Will Save Your Soul?

2008-06-25T14:25:00.001-07:00

Solitary confinement. I am no expert on punishments or prison (and other institutional) practices, but I know that solitary confinement is means to an end for some. I always assumed that whatever it was meant to change, would surely just exacerbate the problem. This is what I am experiencing at the moment. But unlike any form of punishment or even treatment, mine is self inflicted confinement.

Most people have left the city, it is a University town after all. What else is there to keep them here? Or maybe I should be asking why I did not make a wider group of friends in my year here. My closest companion is away traveling, and leaves me feeling more alone than ever. Before he came along, I relished my alone time. I was always a solitary creature, an only child who enjoyed her imagination (and imaginary friends). I like down time, watching dvds, reading books, listening to music, writing, dreaming, drawing. Now it feels different. Company is something I now need, but at the same time, the available options for me do not seem to be the answer.

My whole being feels weak now. I can not know what I want nor do I ever seem to feel complete. My body does not feel right, bad back, funny pains in my hip, weak and sore arms, aching all over; yet I have been doing more exercise, and stretching (but not in a way that could over exert myself). I long to go back home where although I was generally alone during the day, in the evening my parents would come home and we would talk. Maybe we wouldn't even talk, but simply sit around the tv, having some dinner, watching House. Even the company of my two beautiful cats was more comfort than I have here, I would love to feel their purring, soft, cuddly little bodies curled up asleep on the end of my bed (Or in Zillie's case, not so little, more like a giant football size stomach that likes to wobble as she walks).

Already in a relatively unbalanced state of mind, I received a call today which had mixed news. Why is nothing ever straight up good? We have all bad or a bit of good and bad, but never do we have all good. Why is that? So, the job interview I had... I did not get the job. However, on the day another woman decided to interview me as well, and she has asked me back for a second interview. I guess I can only hope and "put my best foot forward" as my mother has chanted to me since I was a little girl. I just want to do well. I know I can do the job, I would be good at it, I would work well in this company, and I have a lot to offer, but how can I assure them that is the case? So I ask the void for a little help, and maybe a little bit of luck (calling my Irish heritage and that lucky clover). In the meantime, I have camomile tea, Jewel, and Jane Austen, plus a trip to Switzerland on Friday (that requires a 5am start to get to the airport on time - see what I mean about it never being "all good"?!).

Worrying is useless and wasteful in times like these...

2008-06-25T14:21:00.001-07:00

"Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom.

No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from.

Fill your lives with love and bravery.

And you shall lead a life uncommon."

- Jewel, Life Uncommon

It is a truth universally acknowledged...

2008-06-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

Jane Austen was a brilliant writer. There has not been anyone else quite like her. No one could say that I am not ambitious. When people ask me what sort of writer I would like to be, I say a cross between Jane Austen, George Orwell, and their biting insights into social and political life, mixed with Zadie Smith's modern eccentricity and honesty. Something along those lines anyway. Nothing like dreaming big (although it does mean even greater disappointment when these goals are not achieved).

I have felt like reading Jane Austen lately, which has made me greatly lament leaving my beautiful set of her books (hard covers with gold leafing) back in Perth (a fact that my mother recently became aware of and is using to her full advantage). But this Jane Austen mood is also somewhat unsettled. When I felt like watching a film or television series, I could not decide what to watch (and ended up watching nothing at all). This was even though I have the BBC's Pride and Prejudice, Emma (with Gwyneth), Sense and Sensibility (The EMma Thompson and Kate Winslet installment), and the highly inaccurate though enjoyable Becoming Jane (which of course warrants a mention of the highly delectable James McAvoy) all with me. So instead, I bought myself a copy of Claire Tomalin's Jane Austen: A Life. I have never really thought about reading a biography of Jane, but so far it has been entertaining. It is clearly a well researched tome, crafted by a proficient writer, however I do have one complaint. There are points where there is too much written about cousins, neighbours, etc. I do realise that her environment was a great influence on Jane's writing, but sometimes this biography devotes too many pages to these sub-plots. Quantity is not quality. Still, it shows a great deal of potential.

Now if only I wasn't such a slow reader...

Fiona Apple

2008-06-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

I have been loving Fiona Apple for a little while now, but today I especially do. There are so many wonderful female singer-songwriters out there, and many that ought to be more appreciated than they are. One particular song is comforting to me today, "Extraordinary Machine" from the album of the same name...

"If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine"

- Fiona Apple, Extraordinary Machine

A Rough Week

2008-06-20T04:00:00.000-07:00

The plan was regular updates after the horrific exam period was over. That unfortunately did not happen. Although I do not like to make excuses, I shall outline some "contributing factors", which will also cover the past few weeks for me.

Let's start with Sunday the 8th of June. It began as a good day, watching Heroes, doing laundry, and generally just relaxing. That evening I was going out to dinner with my friends Chris and Liam, and properly meeting Chris's girlfriend (who I most definitely approved of - a Buffy fan who agrees that Spike always beats Angel). They decided it would be fun to have a Barbecue, it was a nice day. Well, by English standards. Quite a cool day for any Australian, but here in the UK everyone was out of doors, shirts off, disposable BBQ's in hand, and park sports enjoyed. The BBQ seemed to go well, we had a good time. But late that night, I suddenly became very cold. Shivering, I felt like I was freezing, outside in the snow in knickers and singlet, but my body was burning up. It was food poisoning, which lasted until Thursday.

The next few days were spent mainly lying in bed, with many trips to the bathroom, and an uncomfortable (and completely useless) trip to the doctor. I was meant to visit Birmingham with my boyfriend and meet his parents, but I was incapacitated. On Friday I had a very important job interview in Oxford, one that I was extremely nervous and stressed about - it would be an amazing job to start my career in publishing. My biggest fear was that I would not be well enough for the interview. By thursday morning I was feeling better and worse at the same time, there is a time when the food poisoning could be gone and the pain and toilet trip could be a result of my ever active IBS. Unfortunate, but true. My boyfriend, Will, and I trained it to Oxford, and went straight to our hotel. I had calmed down a great deal (especially after some help from Imodium), so we went into the town centre and wandered around for a while. That evening was very exciting for me, as I had my first REAL food since that sunday night.

Friday morning rolled around sooner than I would have liked, but I managed to keep my stress under control. We had some breakfast, and I got myself ready - I was very proud of the finished project, I felt that I perfectly looked the part of a professional business woman rather than a scared and naive university student. We headed to the Business Park outside of town almost three hours early (Will was the packhorse - looking after me and our stuff, although I think he did more sleeping in the cafe than watching the bags). When we got there, we realised that this place was much larger than we had anticipated. We were completely lost. Thanks to a very friendly security man, we found our way to the right offices and the Park's cafe and shops. I waited it out before heading over half an hour early. We found the right offices, but the company I was interviewing with still had 4 buildings and I had no idea which one was right.

The interview was meant to be for one position, and take 1 hour. It ended up being for two different positions and took about an hour and a half. They seemed very nice, friendly, knowledgeable people. I think it must be a requirement for all interviews to be completely overwhelming. They say that you should ask questions, appear inquisitive and interested, but it is difficult to think clearly about such things when you are being bombarded with an extraordinary amount of information. They explained each role to me with great detail and did not leave much untouched. I did not feel like I needed to ask many questions at all, and I hope I will not be penalised for that. The interview also included a copy editing task, which I hope I did ok in. It is not something I have ever done before, I have no formal training in it, and don't know any of the correct notations, but I did my best. I hope it is enough. It has now been a week and I have not heard anything. That worries me, I am not filled with confidence, but my aunt, who works in the industry, says that this is quite normal. My only hope is that she isn't just trying to protect my feelings, and let me hope for a little bit longer.

After the interview we headed straight back to Bristol, and had a nice evening with some of Will's friends. But we were up super early the next morning, 5:30 am to be precise, to catch a tai to the airport where we flew to Dublin. The main reason for the trip (which had to be rescheduled to allow me to go to the interview) was the Prince concert on the 16th of June at Croke Park Stadium, but we decided to make a nice sight seeing trip out of it. My grandfather, who is from Dublin (and is the reason I am an Irish Citizen, and EU Passport holder, and have the right to live and work in the UK) was very excited that I was going to visit his home, and see my heritage. Dublin is a fantastic city and we had a great time. On our first day we went into the city centre, O'Connell street, and from there went up to the Writer's Museum, the James Joyce Centre, the Guinness Factory, and Temple Bar. Our second day, Sunday, saw us go to Malahide Castle, Dublin Castle, The Chester Beatty Library, Christ Church Cathedral, and then on to an Irish pub where we had our first Traditional Irish Stew. Monday was our take it easy day. We were very tired, and I had the Prince concert that night. We headed straight out to Trinity College and saw the Book of Kells, before wandering up to the shopping area around St Stephens Green. We had lunch at Bewley's before heading back to the hotel around 4 to get ready. I had a mini freak out when I realised that the concert was actually two hours earlier than I thought, and we rushed to get out there on time. When we arrived it was eerily quiet and I had a very bad feeling. I had a bad feeling about the concert all weekend, like it wasn't meant to be. The concert had been cancelled, and apparently over a week and a half before, I just hadn't heard. I had been so nervous and excited about it - seeing Prince live in concert is one of my biggest dreams, and it was ripped away from me in an instant. I couldn't hold myself together, it was the last straw. Mini breakdown ensued, poor Will... from there I couldn't talk about it, couldn't even think about it without crying. But that is life, disappointments will constantly be thrown my way. It was the end of a tough week, and I am glad it is over.

Dublin was a fun trip nonetheless and now I am back in Bristol. Will left yesterday, he flies to America for a few weeks on saturday. I am more or less alone now, trying to find a job and somewhere to live, hoping to hear good news about last friday's interview but not holding my breath. I have also booked a short trip to Switzerland from next Friday to visit my aunt, and to re-enter the UK on my Irish passport. I hope things start looking up for me soon, all this stress about real life isn't good for anyone.

Originality? Never!

2008-06-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

I know that my track record of updating has been less than impressive, but I am striving to do better. So I realise that three posts in the one day is a little excessive, but I am making up for lost time, as well as apologising in advance as I will be in London for the next two days. But as I was trawling the internet today I found something that rather disturbed me. Why do people feel like they need to absolutely destroy classics? Sure, modern remakes can be good (or at least fun), I thoroughly enjoyed Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Bridget Jones' Diary, among others, but they are taking it too far now. Apparently, there is a new modern remake of Jane Austen's classic, Emma, on the cards. But this isn't just any remake or reworking... It is a Hip-Hop Musical remake. What now?! Jane Austen and Hip-Hop?! If she isn't rolling in her grave right now, I am outraged enough for her in the land of the living. Check out the article at Variety.

Will someone please come up with some NEW ideas? I know all too well how brilliant the classics are and how much new artists have to live up to... but let's at least TRY to be original. Please?

Tea, Coffee, Cakes, and Muffins

2008-06-04T07:23:00.000-07:00

I have always loved the small café’s, although I have found less of them in Bristol. At home, in Perth, I loved the café strip in Mt Lawley. There were a few scattered around the metro area, in the back streets, that only the locals know – they are definitely the best café’s around. My passion for a good café started rather early in life. A group of friends and I would go after school every Friday to a local book café. The owner quickly came to know and expect us, enjoyed our presence, and gave us free coffees, extra cream with our cakes, and free chocolates. Soon he went out of business, the café shut down to become yet another Asian food restaurant in an area already overcrowded by its kind. From there (Northbridge) we migrated to the centre of the Mt Lawley strip: the Globe and Cino’s being regulars until Xomod and others opened up further down Beaufort St.

But café’s do not have to just be about coffee. What about teahouses and other tea-focused atmospheres? This is very important to a tea lover like myself, who despises that horrible coffee after taste and ever-lasting coffee breath. There is something refreshing in an establishment that has all kinds of wonderful teas, black teas, herbal infusions, green teas, fermented teas. Also essential to this feel is the right cups and individual teapots. There are very strict rules regarding such things – Asian style for Asian teas, traditional English style for traditional style teas, and funky styles for infusions and quirky blends. And you cannot forget the Moroccan tea glasses for Moroccan mint tea! China or glass? Rounded, square, handles, no handles, saucers? It simply cannot be a generic style for all teas, there must be categories. Although not everyone loves tea, and sure, we tea lovers might not want to give in to the evil that is coffee, but there is still hot chocolate, traditional, white, and chilli.

The café experience is not solely concerned with the drinks, however. We cannot forget the muffins, cookies, cakes, and light meals. I have noticed that the English café’s are missing truly brilliant cakes and things, but what else can you expect of a country that calls all desserts “Pudding”?! I miss going to a café and spending a good long while staring into the glass cabinets; “which dessert shall I have today?” Tarts, flan, cakes of all shapes, sizes, and flavours, many cookies, petit fours, gourmet chocolates, bite size treats, ice creams, fudge, chocolate rum balls, macaroons, fruit salads, tiramisu, cheesecake, and more. Too many glorious choices, if only we could choose not to add to our waistlines but enjoy the sickly sweet goodness of all these treats. If you don’t have a sweet tooth, never fear. Sandwiches, presses, salads, wraps, pies, quiches, and other savoury nibbles are on offer also. I personally love a café breakfast, with all manner of friend goods, or at least a fresh bagel, cream cheese, bacon, mushrooms, and grilled tomatoes.

I have never been into clubbing, or partying hard, but I would love to spend a leisurely afternoon with you in a café, drinking tea, eating cake, and enjoying brilliant conversation.

The Good and the Bad

2008-06-04T06:07:00.000-07:00

The Good: My first professional job interview, for the area I wanted and location. Sure, I had to re-arrange my travel arrangements and spend rather a lot on new flights, but it is a start. I just hope I either get the job or some very valuable interview experience and feedback.

The Bad: On-line applications. They are always set up awkwardly, making it difficult to show who you are, what you can do, and why you want to be there. Especially difficult for those of us who are foreigners. And worst of all, they force you to know the exact day that you started and finished jobs (which of course I don't know), so does that mean I shouldn't be able to apply to any of those positions? What is wrong with just emailing a covering letter and a CV? It certainly makes no sense to me.

I've Had Worse

2008-05-30T12:43:00.001-07:00

Today was just another day. Not out of the ordinary, not thrilling or even all that fun, just a day like any other. It seems to indicate the way my days will be for a while now.

I applied to almost ten jobs this morning. Application after application, I think my head went numb eventually. There were probably mistakes in them, but now I have that pessimistic attitude of "why bother?" I feel that none of it gets me anywhere, I am qualified, I am a good worker, I will do well - but no one will ever see that at this rate.

It was then a sad lunch at Subway, followed by a bailing of a friend. We had made plans around one person, to accommodate and include her, and at the last minute, she canceled. And for what reason? To go drinking with other friends at the pub. Sure it feels petty to bitch and whinge, but it still hurts. I tend to find myself in friendships where I care more than the other person, which is a stark contrast from how I usually am in relationships. On to the Sex and the City film as a dejected twosome... Luckily, we were cheered by Samantha's clear head and self-centred lifestyle choices and Charlotte's general optimism and loyalty.

Take-away pizza alone in front of "The Jane Austen Book Club" made me miss my beautiful gold leaf edged, hard back collection of the Austen books. A bit of female singer-songwriters, and jazz and blues singers, with tea and chocolate, and I am feeling just the right amount of sorry for myself. Now the decision: read, write, or watch... "Dawson's Creek"?

It's about time it should be over

2008-05-27T05:52:00.000-07:00

"Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. Once helps you make a living, the other helps you make a life."
- Sandra Carey

So what exactly are these exams for again? They help with neither knowledge or wisdom, unless you count the wisdom of knowing exams are worth nothing.

2008-05-27T01:10:00.000-07:00

One final exam tomorrow. Followed by mass television watching, reading, singing along to Prince, and plenty of updates. Don't go anywhere...

(Now let's just hope I pass ok)

A Love Affair...

2008-05-22T14:02:00.001-07:00

As I have mentioned before, I am a huge fan of Stephen Fry. I finally watched "Peter's Friends" tonight, and I admit that I rather enjoyed it. Yes it is really just an English version of "The Big Chill", but I think I actually enjoyed "Peter's Friends" more. Perhaps that is just my own bias when it comes to Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie (a combination that never goes wrong), but all together I much preferred the cast, and the story. Normally I do not think highly of remakes or just general re-using of good ideas, and I also have a tendency to generalise about the Americans always having to try to make a great British show their way (Red Dwarf, Coupling, Life On Mars, Queer as Folk - the latter, admittedly was brilliant - to name a few) I did not mind the British re-using a tried and tested American Idea. Maybe I just like their humour, their acting styles, and the general British-ness better, but whatever it is, it works.

Not all remakes or re-usages are worse... take "An Affair To Remember" for instance; we tend to remember that reworking rather than the 1939 original, "Love Affair."

"Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories... And we've already missed the spring!" - Terry McKay

Money Don't Matter Tonight

2008-05-22T02:17:00.000-07:00

With two exams done, and only one more to go (in a week), I can breathe a little easier. Although, as reminded by my father in a lovely email, I still can't relax all together. He said, "Do not relax... you've only got one week before you can rest!" I love parental encouragement, they always make you feel.... better?! I took last night off study completely, and this morning I have been completing the household duties that had to be done - laundry, vacuuming, cleaning. Isn't this a glamorous life!

But as you all know, exams aren't the only things worrying me at the moment. After another rejection, I am feeling rather low. No job prospects whatsoever. I know I need to focus on exams, and after they are finished I can change gear and go crazy with the job applications, but the added stress really isn't helping. I just need someone to give me a chance, to believe in me! I believe in me, I will make a great editorial assistant, there is no question about it, so why won't anyone else believe?

"Money don't matter tonight
It sure didn't matter yesterday
Just when you think you've got more than enough
That's when it all up and flies away
That's when you find out that you're better off
Makin' sure your soul's alright
Cuz money didn't matter yesterday,
And it sure don't matter tonight"
- Prince

Confessions of an Addict

2008-05-17T06:54:00.000-07:00

Addicted. Obsession. Fixated. Fanatical.

Exam study continues, and as is expected, it has not been as successful as I had hoped. My mind fails me, concentration is elusive, and my memory seems to have hidden itself in the past. The stage of hypochondriac illness has set in - swollen glands, sore throat, extreme fatigue, and the pallid look. Vitamin consumption up, along with nap times. Appropriate music provides the soundtrack to my dilemmas - personal crises, angry at the world, melancholia. This is exam time. The time for excess which gets you nowhere, other than maybe the gutter. Exams? Of course these aren't skills we will need in the real world. Calculator, notes, books, we will have all of these sources in the real world, and thank goodness for that. Life seems pointless, strange, cruel, but we continue. We sweat, we cry, we eat far more than we should, and we take whatever comforting actions we need....

My comfort, for those of you who don't know me, is CD's and DVD's. It is a true obsession. It takes all the self control in the world to walk past a CD store without buying something... without buying a lot. This morning, as my treat, my break, my consolation, I headed to a cheap CD/DVD store near my flat. I was armed with my all important list: artists and their most highly rated albums. I left the store with a lighter wallet but a very heavy bag (10 CDs + 1 DVD). Including artists like Fiona Apple, Eels, Mazzy Star, Feist, Flight of the Conchords, Wilco, Alanis Morissette, and Portishead. And the dvd? A special 2-disc edition of The Matrix for only 1 pound - how could I resist?!

This is my addiction, it is a curse. On the other hand, it makes me feel good and does no real damage. So perhaps I can get away with it, for a little longer at least.

"You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm." - Colette

Elegy

2008-05-12T10:18:00.001-07:00

John Milton's "Lycidas" is obnoxious.

Paul Muldoon's "Incantata" is worse.

Crunch Time

2008-05-12T04:02:00.000-07:00

Exam crunch time has begun. (Almost) completely finished my finals essays, and exams start in one week. Today was to be the first day of serious study. So what have I been doing all morning? In between study (yes generally more procrastination than study, it is a curse), I have logged into last.fm and created an account. I finally gave in to peer pressure and am now sharing my music tastes. If you want to friend me on it, my user name is mleighg.

If you are already a last.fm user, or would like to try another programme (and you are a PC user), I recommend checking out giggle music. Every user and feedback is extremely helpful to some University of Bristol Computer Science students.

In the meantime, I really should be getting back to Sartre.

Stephen Fry

2008-05-11T08:43:00.000-07:00

I don't know how anyone else feels about Stephen Fry, but I absolutely love him. From "A Bit of Fry and Laurie", "Blackadder", "Jeeves & Wooster", "Absolute Power", "Q.I.", "V for Vendetta", or the full number of the documentaries he does, I love it all. I have recently bought "Peter's Friends" as well but have yet to watch it. Also, if you are interested, there is a show currently on the BBC iPlayer called "Briefings" which looks interesting.

Recently I have discovered his Blog, thanks to my good friend Chris Maddern. He has started is own podcasts which are available for free subscription through iTunes. Each episode is only 25 minutes long, where he talks about (supposedly unedited... much) his life, interesting things that have happened to him, and just generally things that interest him. Worth checking out.

Yes, there was no real point to this post other than to feed Mr. Fry's ego. Let's just say it was the first, of undoubtedly many, posts simply about my loves, passions, and obsessions. He is one of many, I hope you love him as much as I do.

Also, I am looking forward to reading one (or more) of his books after exams. Can anyone suggest any volumes in particular?

The End Of The Road

2008-05-09T04:45:00.000-07:00

Today is the last radio show I will do on my university's radio station: BURST. I am not sad to have it over. When I came to England, I had big dreams. America the land of promise? England was my country of opportunity, and I was excited to get here. So far, however, it has not given me as many opportunities as I would have liked. Yes, I did get to do some work for the BBC and I have been on the radio... BUT I came from a radio station in Western Australia where we had an average of 500,000 listeners to a radio station with an average of 2 or 3 - maybe? I put a lot of work into each of my shows, but that work was never acknowledged. The general running of the stations was appalling, and it is sad that it is not a better opportunity for students who want to break into radio and other media industries.

Still, I have had a good time. Thank you to everyone who has listened to my show. I love playing good music, talking about music, listening to good music... And of course, I love to share a bit of Prince with everyone who will listen!

So goodbye "Megan's Mixed Bag", it's been fun.

Tough Going...

2008-05-08T13:43:00.000-07:00

So, after more and more feedback, it seems I do not have enough experience. This is something that has irritated me for a long time about getting a job. They always say "experience! experience! experience!" But if no one is going to give us that first chance, to believe in us enough to get some experience, how can we ever get any?

Thanks to inspired selection I have just joined the Society of Young Publishers. Hopefully, once my membership goes through, it will get me somewhere. They have a lot of jobs and WORK EXPERIENCE(!) positions posted on the website, with news and other helpful hints. So if anyone else out there is looking to break into Publishing in the UK, I suggest heading on over to that website and seeing how far you get.

Hope is in a shallow grave, maybe they can retrieve it yet...

Esperanza

2008-05-08T03:40:00.000-07:00

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."

- George Eliot

I must not give up hope. I have found another possible internship, at a publishing house. Hope is all I have. I never know when my chance will come.

TV makes an impact

2008-05-07T04:24:00.000-07:00

After yet another application, this time for a television trainee... It is all media! I love television and would love to get into script writing and editing particularly. In the application form, however, there was a question about what television programme you have seen in the past six months has had a great impact on you and why. So, it inspired me to share.

There was a television series on recently that I really enjoyed. Of course, not having television is a real draw back when you enjoy tv as much as I do. But, the BBC iplayer has been my saving grace. Unfortunately I do not find the itv catch up to work very well, as many of the clips do not load properly - which is a big bummer if you are trying to catch up on missed corrie episodes (What?! I can't watch Coronation Street? Craig Charles is awesome!), and it only plays the first half. Everyone knows that the end of each episode of a soap is the most crucial part! The Channel 4 catch up system also does not work on Macs, so I am limited solely to the BBC.

The series was hosted by Dawn Porter on BBC Three, with four episodes: “Dawn… Gets Naked”, “Dawn… Goes Lesbian”, “Dawn… Gets Her Man”, and “Dawn… Gets a Baby”. I really enjoyed it as a series, "Dawn... Gets Her Man" was probably my least favourite, but still highly enjoyable. What I loved about the series was that it was informative, empowering, and most importantly, it was fun. Dawn Porter was great as a presenter who was a real woman, not too thin, attractive, not too confident, etc. Women could relate to her, and I did. This is what journalism should be about, discovery, learning, experience, while having a good time and not taking it all too seriously.

Oh, the only thing is, it may have failed with the positive message on having a baby. I came out of that 100% sure that I never ever want to have a baby, where I was only 98% sure before. But then again, perhaps I truly am simply an anomaly among women.

What other television shows, or films, have had an impact on you and why?

Editorial Position? Can't even edit my own work!

2008-05-04T07:46:00.000-07:00

Five more applications sent off this afternoon... After one of them was sent off (too late to take it back), I realised that I had left the wrong company name in the covering letter. Well, let's just hope they don't make lists of people who make such fundamental and ridiculous errors. I definitely will not hear back from them!

If only I did not find the entire process so wholly stressful, I might be more clear headed when applying.

Job Hunt

2008-05-04T03:54:00.000-07:00

Months and months of searching, applying, rejection. It becomes a rather pointless cycle. I feel like I am not getting anywhere, searching the same websites, applying to the same employers. If I do not get something soon, I will have to try to find general office work. Secretarial work? It feels ridiculous that we go through full university degrees only to be told we need to go out and get office experience before we are useful at all. Was it worth going to university at all? Sure, I can say "University educated to degree level" but what does that really mean in the grand scheme of things?

After more rejections and more absent responses, and little to no feedback, I shall continue the search. It now begins the cycle of having to apply for positions that do not REALLY interest me, not the direct path that I had wanted. Everything is a challenge though, I suppose, and I am sure that whatever I do get (yes, thinking positive! I will get a job, I will have somewhere to live, I will NOT be homeless and unemployed) will be a valuable learning experience. Meanwhile I am going to continue listening to Cyndi Lauper, working on endless essays and exam preparation, and drink ample tea.

2008-04-30T07:54:00.000-07:00

"Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you."

- Susan Carlson

Life, or Something Like It...

2008-04-29T12:43:00.000-07:00

The first step is always the hardest, or is it?

The first step, to me, is making the decision. Recognising what your goal is and going for it. That is the easy (relatively) part. Once you have made it that far, that is when the real work beings, trying to make the dream reality. We can see this in everyday life, in big dreams, small tasks, even in starting a blog!

I had hoped to start this blog more than a few days ago. I made the decision, set up the account, and then left the blank page open on screen for almost a week. It was the first post that seemed impossible to start. How do you start something like this? How do you explain what it is you are wanting to do without seeming - how should I put it - like a complete Wanker. Well, let's face it, there is no other way to seem when you start something of this nature, so here goes...

I am currently finishing up my university studies in Philosophy and Media. When I finish in June I hope to secure an Editorial Assistant position to start my career in Publishing, hoping to eventually become an editor. So far, my applications have not been successful, and I have not been getting any feedback either. I am far from ready to give up however, I am resilient and I will keep trying until those employers come to their senses! If I am unable to secure the position I want straight away, I hope to get some secretarial/administrative work for a year or so until I can secure the right position for me.

Apart from my editorial ambitions, I also hope to become a (very successful) published writer. This blog is just the beginning. You have to start somewhere, and a bit of practice never hurt anyone. I hope to recount interesting stories of life and imagination, keep friends (and anyone else who would like to read it) up-to-date with my career, review books, film, tv, and music... and anything else that might interest the intelligent, interested blog readers.

So, I hope this will be a fruitful exercise, especially now that I have finally written the very first post.

"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong." - Ella Fitzgerald